Finding Hope
by PJJ0930
Summary: All was lost. He lost everything and blamed her for it. Can she help him find hope? Can she save him from himself? Will he allow himself to forgive her? After the terrible birthday in New Moon. Bella and Jasper.
1. Chapter 1

****SM owns the characters****

Please review and let me know what you think!

Chapter one

Reliving the Past

Four years... That's how long it has been since that bitch ruined my life. She cost me everything, my wife, my family, my home. Now here I stand in this god forsaken city, acting as a guardian for my so called masters. What a joke. They rule the immortal world, supposedly passing fair and just sentences upon the guilty of our kind. They are killers, they herd the unknowing into their castle. Seduce them with our supposed beauty. I feel their fear and their pain. I still refuse to partake in their brutality. They destroy our kind when they feel threatened, there is no justice, just a love of power.

As I stand here watching the foolish humans go about their daily lives, unaware of the nightmare that lurks within their city walls I again admit what we are. We are the creatures of the night, we are the nightmares of children. We are monsters. All of us. Even my previous family, they may live in a more civilized world but the fact remains, they are monsters as well. They have spent decades trying to deny what they are but they will never change it.

Yes that stupid bitch that destroyed everything I have, she was willing to give up her life to become what we are. I still wonder if my idiotic former brother ever went back to her. He supposedly loved her so much, she was his mate, his partner, his Bella. Bitch. She was weak, weaker than most humans. She probably broke apart when he left her, I'm sure according to him because of me. The fact remains it was not me that was preparing to attack her that night. It was him. The families precious first child, their god, Edward. I felt it, he was prepared to attack. I took one step forward to try to stop him and the idiot pushes her back into a fucking glass table. What was he doing offering her up to all of us.

Somehow I received the blame. I was the weak one, the one that struggled the most with our lifestyle, bullshit. She was his singer, her blood called to him, he needed it. I felt all of his desire. He was the weak one that night, not me. He wanted to attack her, not me. He was the saint in everyone's eyes, protecting his precious human pet from the monster of the family. Bastard. Hopefully he did go back. Hopefully he gave into the demon within and destroyed her.

She does not deserve to live, she willingly entered into our lives even knowing what we were. I will give her that much, I never felt fear from her. Her emotions were the only thing about her that was not weak. I considered going back to Forks and ending her life myself but why, she was probably destroyed when he left. So weak, it's disgusting. Rosalie was the only one that sided with me regarding the bitch, however, her emotions showed she actually felt something for the weak human. They are all disgusting.

Bitter, yes I am bitter. I hate everyone. I no longer feel love, happiness, joy or any other emotion that makes others feel good. I feel hate, pain, suffering, that's all I feel now. I am nothing but a monster awaiting the day another of my kind is strong enough to destroy me. I have lived for more than 150 years and none have been able to destroy me. So I wait.

My wife, correction, my ex-wife, Alice. I can not even find it in me to feel anything for her now. She chose them over me. She believed him not me. She never had any faith in me, she never trusted me. She loved that little weak human. She was so sure she would join our family. I guess one thing I can bask in, I witnessed Alice finally being wrong. She was always right, always forcing our futures on us. We had no choice, no control. Her and Edward controlled us, they were the special ones. They were always right, fucking mind reader and future seer.

I never had a say in anything we did. She picked my clothing, she demanded how we lived, when we hunted, what we drove but even with all control taken from me, I loved her. I gave her all of my love, but it was never enough. I was never enough for her. She never accepted me, I was a project for her. She hated my history, was ashamed of it. She would never look at me when my shirt was off. I was not the perfect sculpture like the others, I am flawed. I am nothing according to her.

_*Flashback*_

_Edward rushed Bella home after Carlisle stitched her up. I could feel his anger and resolve as he left. I understood his anger but not the resolve, at least not at that moment._

_I felt Alice approach me, I chanced a glance at her but her emotions gave her away. Disgust, shame, anger and embarrassment. We were over, I knew it before she spoke, I felt no love from her._

_"Jasper, I can't do this anymore. I can no longer try to force you to be strong and live this lifestyle. You are not strong enough. You have destroyed our family. We are moving tomorrow. Edward is leaving bella in three days. You have cost me my best friend and you have caused terrible pain to our family. Good bye Jasper." That is all she said to me before running into the forest. I didn't even bother trying to follow her. I knew, it was over. I had no wife, no family, no home._

_I raced to the garage, jumped on my motorcycle and left. I didn't even look back._

_*End Flashback*_

None of them ever tried to find me. That day I was no longer Jasper Hale, I embraced my previous name, I am Jasper Whitlock. A warrior, a monster. I never again fought my bloodlust, it was replaced with endless hopelessness. I no longer crave it, I feed off animals because I have to in order to survive. I have no hope and no cares. I came to Italy hoping to have my life ended but Aro convinced me to serve him. Promised me a better future. I have nothing, I am nothing. So I stand here and wait for my end.


	2. Chapter 2

*****SM Owns the characters*****

**Please review! Hope you enjoy!  
**

Chapter 2

The Past is Coming Back

As I stood at my guard post allowing my pain, hate and suffering to take me over, I heard the approach of another vampire. Jane. Great another bitch, she takes pleasure in causing pain to others. I wonder how she would feel if that pain was projected back at her. What could she possibly want from me? She knows I hate her, hell we all do.

"Jazzy, I have come to collect for Aro," She calls out to me in her stupid, irritating sing song voice. Damn her, she decided I needed a nickname and now only calls me Jazzy. Dumb irritating bitch.

"What does he want now?" I reply sarcasm and disgust dripping heavily in my voice.

"Oh Jazzy, don't be like that. You know you love me. And you also know I have no idea what he wants, you are well aware that is between you two." She replies with humor evident in her voice. Why can't they just leave me the hell alone?

"Jane, I love no one, including you," venom filling my voice. "When does he want to see me?" He must be stupid, sending this bitch to get me. One of these days I am going to kill her!

"He wants you now, he said it was urgent. He is in is private office." She stared at me with disgust. Good… Bitch.

I replied curtly, "Fine." Effectively ending our conversation. I took off toward Aro's personal chambers, wondering what he could possibly need from me. I had nothing to offer the bastard.

I knock once before entering his private office, he looks up at me humor dancing in his eyes. Oh joy, this should be fun, "You summoned?" I ask him curtly.

"Jasper, my son," I visibly cringe at his use of the word son, "Yes I have much to discuss with you, please take a seat." His emotions are a mix of humor, concern, sympathy and uncertainty. Fuck him, I don't want his sympathy. I need no one, including him.

"What is it?" I just want this conversation over so I can go back to my endless suffering. He just continues to stare at me for several minutes. What the hell? If it was so urgent why isn't he talking? Idiot.

"Jasper, I need to tell you something but I need you to try to remain calm. You need to know some things that occurred prior to you coming here. I also need you to do something for me tomorrow." The humor left his eyes and his voice rang with sincerity. Now it was my turn to be frightened, a kind Aro was a dangerous Aro normally.

"Go ahead, I will stay calm." I responded, sounding detached. Hell I really didn't care what he had to say or what he needed.

He eyed me carefully before starting, "A few months before you arrived here, Edward visited us." I could not hide the shock that I felt, he smiled. Apparently enjoying my reaction. He continued, "He requested the same thing as you. He asked us to destroy him, we of course told him no but we did offer him a spot within our guard. He declined, actually he declined rather colorfully." He chuckled apparently remembering the conversation.

Perhaps Edward is not as much of a pansy ass as I thought. Go figure. "Go on, I prodded." Like I said I just wanted this over with and I had no idea what this had to do with me.

"Yes, yes. Anyhow after we refused his request he planned on exposing himself within our city walls forcing us to react. Before we could stop him, Bella did." He stopped right there watching my reaction. My anger flared, only one name could piss me off and it was hers. The human weak bitch. I stood up and punched a hole through the wall.

Aro stood as well, but did not approach me, wise choice, "Jasper, you said you would remain calm." He reminded me. I turned back to face him, took several unneeded deep breaths and sat back down. He sat as well.

"My apologies. I don't think anything can cause rage in me like her." I told him honestly. The anger was still coursing through me but I had calmed down somewhat. "Please continue." I met his ruby eyes, all humor gone in them.

"Well, anyhow, Edward, Alice and Bella stood before us," He was carefully watching my reaction; I would not give him the pleasure of seeing me upset again. So he continued, "Alice promised that Bella would be changed so we allowed them to leave our city. Bella contacted me earlier today and apparently they did not keep their word, however, she will be arriving tomorrow to meet her fulfill her end of the agreement." He paused, cautious now. "I need you to pick her up at the airport."

"WHAT???" I roared at him. All sense left me, as my rage took over. Aro stood up and stared at me.

"This is not optional, Jasper. I expect you to bring her back here unharmed. She has a story for you and you alone. It is her story to tell. You should try to listen." He told me firmly and then continued, "She will be a gifted vampire, I could not reach her mind and Jane could not harm her when she was here last." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't give a damn what her story was, she cost me everything.

Then as if he could read my mind, "Jasper, she has lost everything as well. She knows the truth of what happened that night." What? How could that stupid, weak human know anything of what happened that night. My mind was reeling, I needed to hunt and clear my head.

"Fine, I will pick her up. She will be brought to you unharmed, but I will make no promises of listening to her." I told him curtly. And turned to leave his office.

As I exited I heard him say, "Good luck my son." I cringed again. I took off at vampire speed towards the forest of Italy. Wondering the entire time how I would bring her here without killing her. I despised her, she is weak, a walking disaster. As I thought over the conversation with him I realized he edited a great deal.

I placed the pieces together, Alice was in Italy, and she raced across the world to try to save Edward. Dragging that stupid human with her. She never once came after me. They saved Edward but never tried to save me. Again the pain overtook me; I sank to the ground wishing for the end.


	3. Chapter 3

*****SM Owns the Characters*****

**Please review!**

Chapter 3

I finally regained my senses and pulled myself up from the ground. I needed to hunt if I was going to have to spend four hours in a vehicle with that human bitch. My mind drifted back to Aro's words, 'she has lost everything also.' What the hell did that mean? She is a weak human; she knows nothing of pain and true loss. I swiftly hunted and returned to the castle.

I entered my private room and pondered what he meant by she has her own story. Her story could not possibly hold any interest to me. She is nothing but a weak human and why would she willing walk into the lions den? Stupid bitch.

My mind drifted back again to that horrible day that changed my life completely and again rage filled me. I had no idea how I was going to bring her back to Aro alive. I knock on my door broke me from my thoughts.

"Jasper it is time for you to leave," Felix called through the door. I could feel his desire through the door. I jumped from my chair and opened the door. Fear was evident in his face. They all feared me; I think they were just waiting for me to snap.

"Tell me Felix, what is it that you have such a strong desire for?" I asked him with disgust leaking into my voice. He cringed at my question, which only caused my interest to spike.

"Honestly, I was looking forward to seeing the human girl again. Her scent was intoxicating when she was last here." He answered my question hesitantly. I could not help the chuckle that escaped. I'm not sure if I was more disgusted or pleased by his honesty.

"You do realize Aro intends to make her one of us, yes?" I replied to him calmly. Watching his demeanor change slightly while his emotions shifted to hope.

"Yes I do know that, but that also means there will be fresh meat to enjoy other desires with." I'm not sure why but his answer infuriated me. A deep growl built in me and I crouched down. He immediately stepped back and continued speaking. "Of course, you would get first dibs on her."

The growl escaped me and he quickly departed. What the hell? What do I care what happens to the little bitch once I bring her here? I grabbed my keys from my table and headed to the vast garage beneath the castle. I jumped in my car and headed to the airport dreading what was coming.

I stood outside the airport waiting for the stupid bitch to get out of the airport. Her scent hit me before I saw her. Freesia and lavender. I searched the small crowd of humans before finally seeing her. She had changed, no longer was she the clumsy girl I remembered. She carried herself with an air of confidence and surprisingly grace.

Her big brown eyes met my gold eyes. She immediately looked away but walked my direction. As others stepped out of her way I could see all of her. She had thinned a bit; she had curves in all the right places. Her curves were accented by tight jeans, an even tighter white t-shirt. Her hair was much longer than the last time I saw her. She was actually rather striking.

What the hell? Why I am thinking about her that way? She ruined my life. So maybe time was kind to her but she was still the weak human bitch that cost me my family. As she reached me she spoke softly but with confidence looking directly into my eyes, "Jasper I gather you are here to take me to Aro?" Her scent swirled around me much stronger as she was only two feet from me. It had changed slightly, not as sweet as I remembered, more mature.

I was not blind to the fact that she quickly swept over me with her eyes as well, hell we are supposed to be attractive to our natural prey. I answered her curtly, hatred evident in my tone, "Yes, Aro sent me." She simply nodded, opened the door and threw her bag in the bag before she climbed in and waited for me.

What the hell? She just gets in my car, doesn't wait for me to open the door or anything. Bitch. I walked around to the drivers' side and climbed in, not even glancing in her direction. Twenty seconds later we were on our way back to Volterra. The car was silent, no music, no talking simply the sound of the engine purring as we raced down the highway.

An hour into our ride I broke the silence, I actually found it to be deafening, "Why are you here Bella?" I asked not really sure I wanted to know the answer. From the corner of my eye I saw her glance at me and shake her head.

"Jasper I am here only to honor an agreement made so I can protect Carlisle and Esme." That was all she said, but her tone was laced with determination. Her emotions however were disgust, rage, pain, betrayal, and resignation. I didn't understand it, but I really wasn't sure I cared.

I couldn't help what came out next, "Carlisle and Esme do not need protection from a simple human girl." My words only emphasized my disdain for this stupid human. Her emotions shifted slightly to stronger anger.

"Go to hell you bastard! You have no idea why I am here or what I have been through. I will do what I have to; to make sure no harm comes to them because of me." Her words were laced with venom and her rage dominated her emotions. I risked a glance at her and her eyes were ignited with the fire of her emotions.

"You stupid bitch. You know nothing of sacrifice. What could you possibly have experienced that somehow gives you any kind of real knowledge?" I asked not really caring what her answer was.

"I have walked through the fires of hell, but I am still here. I know everything about sacrifice you condescending bastard. I have experienced the evils of your kind and mine first hand. Don't you dare think you have a right to judge me! You ran away, never looked back. I know what happened the night of my birthday." I cringed when she mentioned her birthday but she continued.

"You were not the weak one, Edward was. I saw it. He denied it and blamed it all on you. He left me three days later and lied to me." She stopped at this point. Her rage boiling over. I was shocked that she could have seen what happened that night, it was so fast. But she knew the truth. But did it matter to me?


	4. Chapter 4

*****As always the characters belong to SM*****

**A/N – Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, added to favorites, etc. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is a bit longer than the previous ones as requested by one of my reviewers. The upcoming chapters will probably be longer as well. **

**Please review and let me know what you think!**

Chapter 4

I decided I really did not care at this point that she in fact knew the truth. She does not matter. I simply exist now. I do not care what her story is. She is nothing but a weak human. My rage was again beginning to bubble up. I decided to respond after a few moments of silence, "Isabella I don't give a shit what you think you know. You are nothing to me. Because of you I lost everything. I DID NOT RUN AWAY! They kicked me out."

My voice was rising with my anger but I continued; I certainly didn't give a shit if I frightened her. "Alice chose Edward and you over me. Our marriage meant nothing to her. My love meant nothing to her." I stopped because I did not want this human bitch to see my pain. I did not want her sympathy. I just wanted to get the hell away from her.

She did not respond but I could feel her emotions as they swirled around me. Anger, pain, sorrow; damn they nearly mirrored my own. I replayed her words in my head as we drove in silence, 'walked through the fires of hell, experienced the evils of your kind and mine,' what the hell did that mean? She is quite the feisty bitch now. She is no longer the timid, shy teenage girl from Forks. As I thought about this my curiosity spiked and I had to ask.

"Isabella," she flinched slightly when I spoke. I was not sure if it was because I used her full name or if it was because I broke the awkward silence in the car, "What do you mean by you walked through the fires of hell? And you have experienced the evils of my kind and yours?" I wasn't sure why I wanted to know, but I did.

She looked at me and her anger hit me harder, "Jasper you just made it abundantly clear that you did not give a shit about me." Her emotions immediately shifted to sorrow and pain, all traces of anger gone as she continued, "You do not want to know my story, no one does." She finished quietly, returning her gaze to the passing scenery. Her pain was nearly crippling, I did not know a human could feel something so intense and survive it.

As the minutes passed my frustration with her increased. How dare she not give me the answers I wanted? Bitch. Finally after another hour of silence I pulled over to the side of the road determined to get the answers I wanted. I shut off the car and turned in my seat to glare at her. She did not meet my stare; she just continued to look out the window. "You will answer my questions now, or we will stay here until you do." I told her, my frustration seeping into my tone.

She turned to look at me, fire ignited in her eyes, finally after several minutes I felt the resignation in her emotions, "I will tell you what happened after my birthday and the eight months after it, that is all I will give you because that is all you deserve." What? She thinks she can dictate the information she will give me? We will see about that.

I continued to stare into her eyes as she began, "Obviously you know what happened at the party, what you don't know is what happened after you left. Edward told me you and Alice had left so you could calm down because you were so upset." If I could have vomited I probably would have after hearing that. She continued to watch my reaction but apparently whatever she saw did not give her reason to stop.

"I found out later, many months later, that was a lie. I told Edward time and again you did nothing wrong but he told me it was you that was the threat that night. Everyone else was in control." I scoffed at that and based on her emotions she knew it was a lie as well. She continued, "Three days passed before Edward left me. At the time I thought he broke me. Months passed and I was useless to everyone. He took everything, pictures, the CD he made for me, everything. He told me it would be as if he never existed." She actually let out a chuckle as she recalled that line. Typical Edward, so dramatic.

She continued after a moment of pause, "Finally I met up with an old family friend and he helped me regain pieces of my life. But for some reason my days with mythical creatures were not over. After spending nearly everyday with him for a month he suddenly cut me out of his life. I was a wreck, but I pushed back and insisted he tell me what was going on." I had no idea where she was going with this but she certainly had my attention.

"Well come to find out his legends were true, Jacob Black, my best friend turned into a wolf. He became a protector of his people, a protector against the one thing I had learned to love. Vampires." My shock was clearly evident on my face and I had to interrupt her. She looked at if she expected my reaction.

"The wolves are back, huh?" She nodded and gave me a sad smile. I could feel deep sorrow coming from her along with great pain and anger. There was a small hint of something else that I could not pinpoint. She did not speak for a few minutes and I thought perhaps she had decided she did not want to tell me anything else. But just as I was getting ready to ask her to continue she did.

"Anyways, we argued about the vampires. I agreed with him that there were horrible ones out there, but the Cullen's were not. He never agreed with me, but I understood. The hatred between the pack and vampires was deep; certainly not something I could change." I nodded and she continued.

"Well months had passed and I heard nothing from any of the Cullen's. I began to enjoy activities that were somewhat dangerous." I rose by eyebrows at her, questioning her statement. She smiled and continued, "I know it sounds strange, but I started riding a motorcycle and then one day I had the bright idea to try cliff diving." Sarcasm was heavy in her voice at this statement.

"Apparently Alice saw me jump from the cliff but because Jake pulled me from the water she thought I had died. She can not see the wolves' futures. Well she rushed back to Forks intending on helping Charlie with my funeral. Needless to say she was shocked when I came strolling into my house." She paused here to gather her thoughts apparently. But I just sat there shocked. She had Alice back, where was the rest of the family?

She continued after taking a deep breath, "Well I was thrilled to see her, but Jake was none to pleased. He took off while I got reacquainted with her. She told me about the family and that Edward had taken off, only contacting them on occasion. She did not mention you and at the time I did not think to ask." I simply nodded to let her know I was still listening. Although internally I felt like I was being torn apart. She continued her voice quiet.

"The next day Jake came over to check on me. Alice had stepped out but then returned and immediately was overtaken by a vision. She saw Edward going to Italy asking to be killed. Apparently Rosalie had contacted him and told him I was dead. At the time I did not understand why it would matter to him. Hell he left me, told me he did not want me anymore." A few tears fell from her eyes as she relived her past for me. I almost felt a pang of sympathy for her. Almost.

"I begged her to tell me what we could do to stop it. She said our only chance was to fly to Italy. So we did. Aro had refused his request to die so he planned to step into the middle of the square and expose himself in the sun." I couldn't help the laugh that came from me, it felt so unnatural but yes he always was one for the dramatic. She shot me a glare but continued.

"We made it in time but some of your fellow guard members insisted we speak with Aro. We could not refuse as Jane was there." She cringed slightly when saying her name, I wondered what had happened. Her voice brought me back, "So we met with the brothers, Aro nearly begged Edward to change me so they would not have to kill me. Edward would not agree but Alice stepped forward and allowed him access to her mind. Apparently whatever he saw convinced him that I would be changed. I don't think he realized how easily her visions could be altered by just a small decision."

Again I felt sorrow coming from her but she only paused briefly before continuing, "So we headed out of Italy and returned to Forks. The family was back, minus you." Her eyes were filled with sadness for me. I refused to comment so she continued, "Well Rose apologized and everything kind of went back to normal. Edward and Alice came back to school; Carlisle went back to the hospital. While I was happy to have everyone back, things were different, things were missing."

"Edward controlled everything I did. He would not allow me to see Jake. He went absolutely ballistic when I told him I was going out for a ride on my motorcycle. He took my bike apart, telling me it was for my own good," Her anger was again coming to the surface and I figured we were getting close to a breaking point. Her eyes were closed by this point, if I did not know better she would have appeared rather relaxed. Again she took a deep breath but her eyes remained closed.

"After graduation I told Edward that I did not think we were meant to be together. I could no longer take the control he placed over my life and he refused to change me or allow Carlisle to change me. He placed such strict boundaries on our physical relationship that I really felt like it was no longer worth being together. I was getting nothing out of it." I was sitting there absolutely shocked. She left him; she stood up to him, holy shit! She did not open eyes, I was fairly certain her mind was back in another time.

"He took it badly as expected. He accused me of only wanting to leave him because I was in love with Jake. Which I wasn't, he was my best friend, nothing more. There was no saving our relationship, it was over and we both new it. Alice had to drag him out of my house and he took off. I have not spoken to him since that day. Alice came over the next day to say good bye to me." She opened her eyes and locked them with mine before she continued.

"She told me that you had left her after my birthday, which I now know was a lie. She said she wanted me to be happy and that she still saw me becoming one of you but did not know when or how. Then she told me that she was going to find Edward and that she loved him and would take care of him."

That was my breaking point. I jumped out of the car and ran to the nearby forest. I destroyed everything in my path for several minutes. The rage in me started to settle and I sat down on the forest floor. Finally the pain and sorrow taking over as dry sobs racked my body. I heard her footsteps approaching me but she stopped several yards from me. I heard her sit on the dry ground after several minutes she whispered, "I'm so sorry Jasper. I did not want to cause you more pain."

I couldn't take it; I turned my face to look at the human sitting feet from me. The monster inside me roared. I stared at her for several minutes, neither of us breaking eye contact. I could feel no fear coming from her, only pain and resignation. She was ready for me to kill her. I would not allow the monster to take over because somehow I knew this was only the beginning of her story and for some reason I wanted to hear more. No I needed to hear more.

I stood up and walked over to her. Our eyes never leaving each other. I sat next to her, again assaulted by her scent. My anger was still in the forefront so my voice came out harsher than I intended, "Isabella you will tell me your full story before we go back to Volterra." It was not a request it was a demand, even if I had to send her waves of trust, I would get her story. Her features hardened, her fury again rising, "Jasper I told I would tell you about the eight months after you left. That was all."

"You owe me answers," I shouted at her. She stood up and glared at me before shouting right back, "I don't owe you shit Jasper Whitlock." She turned her back to me and started walking back to the car. Hell no! She was not going to just walk away from me. I easily caught up to her and grabbed her arm, probably much tighter that necessary. I spun her around to look at me. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears as she met my gaze.

She was the first to speak, "What this hell do you want from me? I thought you were here just to ensure my safe arrival to Aro. Why does my past matter to you?" Her tone was laced with venom and her emotions were chaotic, but I still felt no fear from this woman. As I continued to stare into her eyes I realized how much she had aged. She still looked young physically, but in her eyes I could see it. It was the aging that can only come from great suffering and pain. What the hell happened to her?

"Please Bella; I want to know what happened to you." I spoke gently for the first time in four years, using the name I knew she preferred instead of her full name. I actually felt something other than pain, anger and hopelessness. I wanted her to confide in me, I wanted her to trust me. I felt the slightest twinge of hope. What the hell was going on?

*****Please Review*****


	5. Chapter 5

*****SM owns the characters, I just like to twist them*****

**A/N Thank you all for your reviews they are always appreciated. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for the grammatical errors along the way! Please review!**

Chapter 5

I relaxed my grip on her arm as tears began to fall from her eyes. I believe the tears were from anger but I could not be positive because her emotions were all over the place. She stood there staring at me for several minutes before responding to my request. "Jasper, my story is filled with misery. Trust me when I say that you do not want to hear it." She dropped her gaze to the ground, for the first time since seeing her again her confidence wavered.

I again spoke to her in a much gentler tone than I had become accustomed to, "Bella, I am warring within myself. So much of me wants to hate you and blame you for everything I have lost. But somewhere in myself I know that it was not your fault. Can I ask you some questions?" I thought perhaps if I asked some questions she may relax. Her response again shocked me.

"Only if I can ask some in return." She returned her eyes to mine, her confidence returning. "You feel like I somehow owe you answers and I am not entirely sure why you feel that way. I do understand you wanting to hate me. I have to tell you though; you might as well get in line. I can not even begin to tell you the number of people that hate me." Huh? What has she done to cause many to hate her, she is a simple human. From everything I remember she was always selfless.

"Agreed, I will answer your questions if you answer mine." I stated firmly. She nodded and waited for my questions to begin. I stood there thinking of what I wanted to ask first. I guess I would start with the rest of my previous family. "What happened to Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rose? You didn't mention them much in your story." She smiled a small smile and shifted slightly and returned to sitting on the ground. I followed and sat across from her.

"I still speak with Carlisle from time to time. He knows I am here and what I am doing. He offered too change me but I felt it best to undergo my newborn year away from them. No need to cause them any more trouble than I have already. They are living in New England now. Rose and Emmett had taken off for another honeymoon after the whole Italy thing. They only came back after finding out that I had left Edward and that Alice had gone after him." She watched my face carefully, I'm sure watching for the rage that overtook me earlier. But I was fine now, angry still but no need to show that again.

"The four of them stayed in Forks for a few months before they also decided it was time to leave. I had made no plans to go to college so I decided I would take a year off and try to get accustomed to regular human life again." I had to chuckle at that. She gave a small laugh also realizing how odd her statement sounded. "So we said our goodbyes promising to stay in touch. Well now the only one I speak to is Carlisle because he is the only one that understands the things that have gone on in my life. It would seem human life was never going to be an option for me." Again my curiosity was peaked but I refrained from asking.

She asked her question before I could ask my next one, "Carlisle told me three years ago that you had joined the Volturi guard, I figured you would have returned to the normal vampire diet. Why didn't you?" She seemed only curious when she asked. I figured this one was at least easy to answer, so I was honest.

"I have no desire to harm any humans, it hurts me too much to feel their pain. I only came here because I had no where else to go." I added mentally there was no way in hell that I was going back to the miserable life I had in the South. She only nodded not asking for further explanation. I was at least grateful for that. Now it was my turn to question her.

As much as I did not want to know, I figured it was best to get this one out of the way, "So do you know what happened with Edward and Alice?" Her eyes drifted to the soil below her while her emotions shifted to concern. Shit, was she concerned for me? She returned her eyes to me before she nodded and then asked, "Are you sure you want to know?" My mind was screaming NO, but I knew I had to know. I nodded and waited for her answer, knowing I would not like it.

She took several deep breaths and then again dropped her eyes from mine, "They are together now. Edward apparently never really loved me. He only loved being able to control me and he loved the idea of me. I was never enough. Alice apparently contacts Esme regularly updating her on what's going on in their lives. They are planning to wed in a year." She did not look at me as she whispered the final sentence. I did not say anything, I don't know if I was in shock or denial. My anger was not resurfacing but my self-loathing was certainly coming to the forefront.

After several minutes she wearily looked up at me. Then she did something that I never would have expected. She took my hand in her small warm hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I gathered by the emotions emitting from her there was more so I asked, "What are you not telling me?" She gave a coy smile. I noticed that she did not release her hold on my hand and wondered why I did not find it uncomfortable.

"Carlisle told me that Alice only brought you with her to meet the them for protection and to show you that there was another way. She never really loved you either." I ripped my hand from hers and stood up. I began pacing furiously in front of her. She did not say anything, just allowed me to work through my emotions. After a half hour of pacing I stopped and glared at her, again feeling hatred for the woman in front of me, I yelled, "And how the hell would he know what we felt for each other? And why would you tell me that? You bitch, are you just here to cause me further pain, have I not suffered enough because of you?"

She tensed as my voice continue to rise, her anger again rose nearly matching my own before screaming back at me, "You wanted to know what happened with them. I asked you if you really wanted to know. DO NOT BLAME ME. They made their own choices. Carlisle would not lie to me about what Alice told him." She was now on her feet again turning and walking away from me. What is it with this girl walking away? I could see her small frame shake slightly as she continued towards the highway. I could hear quiet sobs escaping her. I let her walk for a while before I caught up to her.

I stepped in front of her, forcing her to stop. She refused to look at me, but I needed her to, "Please look at me." I whispered all traces of my anger gone. Now I felt remorse although I was not sure why. She still did not meet my gaze but shook her head no in response to my request. "Bella please?" Apparently I was not past begging. Her next words cut me to the core, "Jasper we are finished talking. I have nothing left to say to you. You hate me for something that I did not cause and you will never get past that. Just take me to Aro… please." she tacked on the please as an after thought. She stepped around me and continued walking to the car.

I stood not moving for several minutes; finally I heard the car door slam. I guess she was right, I do hate her and I probably will never get passed it. I turned and headed to the car. I climbed in without even glancing at her. Within seconds we were back on the highway racing towards Volterra. My mind continued to replay our entire conversation. No, she was wrong, I could get past this, I just needed to understand it all. I new that I had to get her to talk to me again so I exited the highway at the next ramp. I broke the silence, "You need to eat and I am sure you would like to clean up before we get there. There is a hotel about two miles up the road, we can get you a room and I will bring you back some food. I will contact Aro and let him know we will be there tomorrow so you can get some rest."

She did not respond to me but I went ahead and headed to the hotel. The silence between us was unbearable and I did not know what to do to make it better. We parked at the hotel and I headed in to get a room. I considered getting two, but I figured why bother all I needed was a shower. After checking in and calling Aro I headed back to the car. I climbed back in and headed to the rear of the hotel. I grabbed her bag for her as she climbed out. She glanced at my hand holding her bag and let out a sigh. What the heck did that mean?

She followed me silently to the room and plopped down on the bed as soon as we entered. She still had not met my eyes nor has she spoken to me. I needed to get her to talk to me so I asked something safe, or at least I thought, "What would you like to eat? I will go get you something." I asked hoping that simple question would break the wall that had gone up between us. She grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom, answering my question in a clipped tone, "Nothing." that was all she said before closing herself in the bathroom.

Well shit... Now what do I do? Well she has to eat. I left the room as soon as I heard the shower turn on. I jumped in the car to go find her something to eat. I found a small restaurant open and bought her some pasta, a salad and a bottle of wine. I figured she needed to relax. I returned quickly to the hotel with the food. She was still in the bathroom but it sounded like she was blow-drying her hair. Her scent was so strong in the room after the shower. Again I found it to be intoxicating but not in a way that I wanted her blood. Strange, very strange.

I had positioned myself on the lone bed in the room awaiting her exit. When she walked out I was momentarily frozen. She had a tight tank top that stopped above her belly button and a pair of tight short shorts. Her hair was in loose curls around her shoulders and down her back, her skin had a slight pink tone to it from the heat of the shower. One word described her, Breathtaking. She broke my ogling of her when she spoke, "What?" Her tone still reflected her anger but it was not as strong as earlier.

I figured I might as well answer her honestly, "You look breathtaking." She rolled her eyes at me and looked at the table that held her food. I could not take my eyes off of her, "You need to eat Bella. I hope you like what I picked out." She shifted her eyes to mine, finally making eye contact again. I could feel her appreciation before she spoke, "Thank you Jasper." I smiled a real smile at her. Finally I did something right.

As she sat down to eat I stood up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I turned to look at her before I spoke, "I'm going to go shower now. Enjoy your dinner." She nodded and poured herself a glass of wine. After I stepped into the bathroom I realized how strong her scent was in this room. Shit. I turned on the shower, undressed and climbed in. Her scent swirled around me as I washed myself. After a few minutes I climbed out, only to realize I had not brought a change of clothes with me. Oh well I figured I would just slide on my jeans and grab a shirt later from the trunk of the car. We always had extra shirts in the back of the cars, just in case one of the guard slipped when we ere out.

As I walked out of the bathroom drying my hair with my towel I heard a small gasp. I turned quickly only to see Bella drinking me in like I had her. I felt a quick wave of lust that was just as quickly replaced with embarrassment. I smirked at her and for the first time since picking her up I saw her checks redden with blush. It really did just make her look even more inviting. I decided to be a smartass, "See something you like?" I asked her in a light tone.

She matched my smartass remark with one of her own, "Apparently just like you did." She returned my smirk with her own. Damn! It felt so strange to be somewhat joking after so many years of feeling nothing but pain. I wondered if I was beginning to heal. When I called Aro he told me take my time. He said it would be good for both of us to get something's out in the open. He apparently already knew what had happened to her, but would not share anything with me. He wanted me to get her story without his help.

I nodded at her before responding, "You have certainly grown up." I told her with sincerity. She laughed, a real solid laugh. It was nice to hear. She locked eyes with me again after calming down, "I have spent over three years working out and developing my balance. It has been a long process but I certainly cannot complain about the outcome. After spending most of my life trying to stay upright it is nice to finally walk knowing I won't fall flat on my face." She laughed again and this time I joined her. After a few minutes of silence, I walked out of the room and went to the car to find another shirt to wear. The only one in the trunk was rather tight but it would have to work for now.

After returning to the room and growing tired of the silence, I spoke again, "I'm sorry for yelling at you before. You did not deserve that. Their choices are theirs not yours." I wasn't sure why I felt the need to apologize but it somehow felt right. She gave me a small smile before responding, "I really do understand your anger Jasper. I held onto mine for awhile but unfortunately for me I had to lose much more before I could learn to except things." Again her cryptic remarks left me wanting more.

As I watched her drink her second glass of wine I decided I would try again to approach the discussion of her past, "Bella will you tell me what happened after everyone left?" It was easy enough to deduce events occurred after the Cullen's left her life. Her emotions shifted rapidly to reflect great pain. She looked into my eyes before responding, "I don't know if I can tell you. It is very hard for me to even think about the things that happened." Her pain was increasing and for the first time in four years I sent out waves of calm. She whispered, "Thanks." After a few minutes she finished her wine and set the glass on the table.

She adjusted herself to get more comfortable on the bed. She insisted that I sit with her rather than in the chair. As I watched her lay her head down on the pillow I could feel her exhaustion. She looked at me again before she spoke, "Maybe I will tell you tomorrow, but right now I just want to get some rest." I pulled the blanket from under me and laid it across her barely covered body. "Thanks again Jasper." She breathed out as sleep rapidly overtook her. I sat at the end of the bed watching her breathe evenly as she drifted into a deeper slumber.

After about an hour I stood only sit back down so I could lean against the headboard. After only a few minutes Bella rolled over to where she was facing me. Her dark hair was tangled around her face and flowing behind her. Our bodies where only inches apart and I could feel the warmth coming from her. I wondered how I could ever hate her or if she was truly to blame. I cautiously reached out and brushed a few locks of hair from the front of her face, she released a sound that could only be compared to a purr. Interesting… As I sat there staring at the woman laying next to me I recalled she used to talk in her sleep. I wonder if that has changed?

**AN * Up next Bella's sleep talking and her full story!!!**

**Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

*****SM Owns the Characters******

**Thanks to everyone that has reviewed. I really appreciate it! Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 6

As Bella drifted into a deeper slumber her emotions shifted to great pain and fear. I did not know what dream was haunting her, but it was a bit unnerving to feel her fear. I had never felt it before from her. Words began to whisper across her lips, at first they were just mumbles. Then one name came from her mouth that shocked the shit out of me, followed by a desperate plea, 'Victoria, no take me not him.'

I was motionless as I stared at the small, fragile human beside me. My mind drifted back to that night of playing baseball. James, Victoria…Tracking… Bella's Blood… Arguing with Edward that we should have tracked down Victoria after we destroyed James. He disagreed, saying they were not close. What the hell happened?

As quickly as I processed my thoughts, Bella again spoke, her emotions shifting from fear to deeper pain and sorrow and hopelessness, 'Jake... Lexi please forgive me.' She breathed out. I watched as tears fell from her closed eyes. Did she suffer like this every time she tried to sleep? I had noticed the dark circles under her eyes, but thought nothing of them. As her sorrow escalated I could take no more and sent waves of calm at her. Immediately she relaxed and slipped into a peaceful rest. I wondered how long it had been since she had sleep peacefully.

I was determined that I would get my answers when she woke up. As the morning light began to slip through the curtains of the small hotel room I decided I should sit in the chair and wait for her to awaken. After two more hours that felt like an eternity to me she began to stir. Her eyes shot open as she looked around the room, obviously temporarily forgetting were she was. As her eyes met mine I heard her intake of breath. Again I felt no fear from her, but I did feel appreciation.

She spoke before I could ask, "That was the first night in many years that I have not awoken screaming. I imagine I have you to thank for that." She stated not really asked. Although I did not feel any anger from her, I was unsure how she would react to me forcing calm to her.

I broke eye contact with her before answering, "Your emotions were very painful for me to feel. I sent you some calming waves to try to help you relax." I chanced looking back into her eyes and reached out again to feel her emotions. No anger, at least she would not be screaming at me again.

"Although I do not like you manufacturing my emotions, I will thank you for last night." Her eyes drifted to the bed as she broke from my gaze. When I did not respond for a few moments, she stood up and grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom.

Before she made it to the bathroom door she turned back to look at me but did not say anything. I was so taken back by her grace and how sculpted her body was that I was momentarily at a loss for words. I was certain it did not escape her attention that I was openly staring at her body.

"I'm going to change, then we can be on our way." She stated breaking me from my trance. Her emotions once again shifted to resignation and pain. There was no way in hell we were leaving until I got her story.

"Bella, we are in no hurry. Aro knows where we are and told me take our time." I tried to get a read on her emotions but they were sifting so quickly I could not register them. When she did not respond I continued, "I would like to hear you story, please."

She dropped her eyes from mine again and nodded before she headed into the bathroom. Well at least she agreed to tell me. I was not sure why I wanted to hear what she was going to say but for some reason I knew I needed to hear it.

A few minutes later she emerged from the bathroom. I was again taken back by how much I enjoyed drinking in the woman in front of me. I should not have these thoughts about her. Damn It! Yes she was certainly easy on the eyes and was probably lovelier than any human or vampire I had ever seen. But fuck… I was supposed to hate her.

She sat not two feet from me on the edge of the bed. Her emotions again going all over the place. I sent a wave of calm at her again but this time it was met with a glare from her, fire danced in her eyes, "I need to feel my emotions Jasper." She nearly spat at me. My own anger spiked in reaction to hers.

Before I could respond she spoke again, "I'm sorry Jasper, that was uncalled for." Remorse was evident in her tone even without feeling it in her emotions. My anger quickly cooled as her emotions wrapped around me again. I gave her a weak smile before I responded.

"Don't worry about it. Just so you know I was just trying to help you calm down, not trying to eliminate your emotions." My tone was slightly defensive but I did not feel her anger rising. She nodded but did not reply. After several minutes of silence and her staring at the ground I spoke, "Will we tell me everything that has happened since your 18th birthday?"

Her eyes quickly darted up to mine before resting on her hands that were entangled on her lap. She responded in a quiet voice, "I will but can I ask you some questions first?"

That seemed fair enough, but I could not fathom what she would want to know. "Fair enough Bella. Ask away." Her eyes met mine again and she gave me a true smile. Her smiles only made her more beautiful, if that was even possible. She needed to smile more often.

She did not drop her gaze from me but I could feel her hesitancy, slowly she asked, "Why do you hate me so much? At one time you told me I was worth it. Now you despise me. I only fell in love, no one can control whom we fall in love with. Yesterday you said you blame me for everything but I did not do anything. I lost everything also. Hell I lost more than you." Fuck. I did not want to answer this question.

I did once tell her she was worth it. At the time I believed it, but what did I believe now? So much of me wanted to hate this human woman that sat across from me, but somewhere deep down another part wanted to protect her and help her to overcome her pain. Where the hell did that come from?

My hesitancy to answer did not go unnoticed by Bella but she simply maintained eye contact with me as I thought out my answer. I dropped my eyes from hers and answered quickly hoping to satisfy her curiosity, "Yes I blamed you for everything. For Alice telling me to leave the family, for them choosing you over me. I had no one. My wife of over fifty years tossed me out, my family wanted nothing to do with me. Hell they never tried to find me." My pain was coming to the forefront thinking of my once family and how hopeless I really was.

I continued still refusing to meet her eyes, "I have wanted nothing more in the past four years to find out you had been destroyed." I heard her gasp but continued, "Now here I sit with you trying to figure out why I spent those years blaming you when the fault lies elsewhere." I shifted my eyes from the floor to hers. I expected to feel anger from her but only acceptance flowed from her.

Her eyes were filled concern and I knew immediately that concern was for me. She shifted slightly and went to touch my hand but quickly changed her mind. For the first time in a very long time I would have welcomed the simple touch. Then something she said came back to me, "What do you mean you lost more than me?"

She visibly tensed and her emotions again ran rampant. She took a deep breath before responding; "Jasper as I told you yesterday my story is not good. It is filled with pain and loss. I have worked hard to get to the point I am at and learn to accept things I can not change." She shifted again on the bed, but this time she moved up so she could lean against the headboard of the bed.

She continued after she was comfortable, she again shut her eyes, "I am very sorry for the pain you have suffered the past four years. I understand why you blame me for everything. I should have stayed away from Edward, from all of you." I was about to interrupt her but her next words silenced me, "But over the years I have began to consider that it was fate and somehow I was destined to be a part of the bizarre mythical world I stumbled in to."

She glanced at me quickly and then shut her eyes again, her emotions were a whirlwind. "Some things I told you yesterday, but I edited some parts." Again she looked over at me, perhaps waiting for me to interrupt or react badly. I knew she had only given me a short story version but my anger was not under control at the time. I simply nodded at her, letting her know to continue.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and continued, "A few months after Edward left me after my birthday party I went searching for the meadow he used to take me to. I had searched for it for days with Jake but did not find it. Then I decided to go out on my own and look and I found it. The problem was that I was not the only one to stumble across the meadow that day. Laurant came walking out the woods a few minutes after I got there." It was my turn to gasp. Laurant was supposed to be with Irina now, her mate.

Bella continued as if she had not heard me, "He told me he was there for Victoria and I should be thankful he found me and not her. I was frozen in place. I could not believe that I was finally going to die after escaping deaths hands so many times before. Just as he was about to bite me, five wolves came out of the forest. Well these were not typical wolves, these were huge beasts. They chased him off and I ran back to my truck, absolutely shocked that I had not been killed by Laurant or the wolves."

I could feel a low growl building in me but Bella continued speaking without opening her eyes, "I found out a few days later that the wolves were my friends from La Push and they had destroyed Laurant. Of course I could not believe it at first, I had seen the strength of the vampires. I thought nothing could destroy a vampire except another vampire. But of course that is what they are designed to do." She was so engrossed in reliving her story I was certain for the moment she forgot I was even in the room.

Her emotions remained unreadable as she continued. "After that there were no secrets between Jake and I, he was my brother. My friend and my only grip on reality for several months. He helped me to live again and when Edward came back and tried to take that from me I could not handle it." She opened her eyes and gave me a small sad smile. I was still reeling from her run in with Laurant.

"Bella I do not know any human that could survive a confrontation with a rouge vampire, but you survive two?" I asked her somewhat rhetorically and was surprised when she answered.

"Jasper you don't know the half of it yet." She let out a sigh. Again she had my full attention as I responded, "Tell me Bella." I spoke softly hoping she would share the rest with me without much prodding from me.

"Well I told you yesterday about Alice coming back and the trip to Italy. Nothing happened while everyone was back. Edward and Alice were gone, then by late July that year the rest of the family had departed." Her emotions were quickly shifting to deep sorrow and loss as she continued.

"Two weeks after everyone left I was home with Charlie one night. Victoria showed up." Tears started to flow from her eyes and the pain she was experiencing was nearly unbearable but she continued. "I watched as she killed Charlie. I begged her to just take me but she didn't. She wanted to see me suffer. As I watched her slowly drain him I thought back to James and remember that you guys had burned him. I only hoped that she would burn even if she was not ripped apart."

She took another deep breath, "I was standing in the kitchen and she was at the front door. I turned on the gas stove and waited a minute for the gas to start to fill the room. I grabbed the matches and lit one and tossed it at the stove as she started to walk towards me. It exploded as I was running out the back door. I heard her screams and then it went quiet as I watched my home burn to the ground." Her pain shifted to deep sadness and grief.

She again spoke but had I not been a vampire I would not have heard her, "The pack showed up a few minutes after I started the fire. They could not believe I had destroyed her. Hell I couldn't believe it. She stole my father from me and my home. I spent weeks trying to get over my anger. I was angry at the pack, at Edward and more than anyone I was angry at Alice. I sat for hours trying to figure out how she did not see this."

I stood up and sat next to her on the bed and did the only thing I could think of at the time. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her to my body. She sobbed quietly into my chest for several minutes until calming herself down. She took several deep breaths and started speaking again but she did not move from my embrace. Oddly I found holding her to be comforting to me as well. It has been so long since I held another.

Her voice broke my train of thought, "I called Carlisle and told him what happened. He was appalled and offered to move me in with them. I refused but I did ask him to find out how Alice did not see this coming. He promised to discuss it with her." She stopped speaking and I wondered if she would continue. This obviously had brought up terrible memories.

She right how did Alice not see this and how the hell did she beat Victoria. Holy shit this woman has tackled more vampires than most vampires I know. I now viewed her in a new light. She is not the weak fragile human I thought she was, she is strong, determined and beautiful. I continued to hold her as her emotions started to settle. "Bella I am so sorry. My view of you was completely wrong. You have been through more than anyone ever should have to experience."

Her arms tightened around me and a new round of tears started. After several minutes she spoke again, "Jasper this is just the end of chapter one of my ridiculous life." I was shocked, how much more could she possibly have gone through? As her emotions settled back to pain and sorrow I again spoke.

"What else happened to you Bella?" I asked almost fearful of finding out. She had already experienced so much loss. Her breathing calmed and she loosened her grip on me. She pulled back from me slightly and looked into my eyes. I felt like I could see into her soul, her eyes always spoke volumes but I could see that the light that once was there was now gone.

She gave me a sad smile before speaking again, "After my anger subsided I moved down to the reservation and stayed with Jake. He found his soul mate shortly after I moved in with him and his dad. Lexi is a great girl, she was perfect for Jake." It did not escape my attention that she said was. Again my curiosity peaked but I resisted the urge to ask knowing she would tell me when she was ready to.

She shifted slightly but did not pull away from my embrace before she spoke again, "I stayed with the pack for several months without any problems. But that all changed one day when Jake and I were taking a walk down one of the trails by the beach." Again her emotions hit me hard. Such deep sadness and regret flowed from her.

I was beginning to feel like a complete ass. I had spent the last four years hating this woman while she had suffered one loss after another. No one deserved what she had been through and I was certain things were going to get worse as her story continued. The sadness coming from her would have sent most into a state of desperate depression. Somehow though she still remained.

**AN – Her story will conclude in the next chapter. Sorry had to break it up.**

**Please review**


	7. Chapter 7

*****Characters belong to SM*****

**Thank you for all the reviews! I really hope you like this chapter and as always pleas let me know what you think!**

Chapter 7

Bella shifted a bit and rested her head on my shoulder before she started speaking again, "Like I said we were just walking a normal trail we had walked several times. Jake tensed beside me and within seconds he had pushed me back and transformed into his gigantic wolf form. I knew only one thing would cause him to change like that. A vampire and not one we knew." I was holding my breath at this point, not because of Bella's scent but because again she faces another vampire.

"I saw them, two of them. A stunning female with gold eyes and a male with bright red eyes. At first I thought we might be okay because of the gold eyes, but I quickly found out we weren't. Well the female informed us she was Irina and she was there to avenge the death of her mate Laurant. She was so pissed. I could almost feel the anger flowing from her." Irina had come for revenge against a pack of wolves with only one other. Was she stupid?

Bella broke my thoughts as she continued, "I tried to talk to her and tell her that he was going to kill me and that I was a friend of Carlisle's. She obviously did not care. I meant nothing to her and she was seeing red. The male that was with her was becoming very unstable. Luckily when the wolves are in their wolf form they can here each others thoughts. Jake had already told two of the others where we were and what was happening." I had to interrupt her at this point.

"Bella what do you mean the male was becoming unstable? How did you know?" She took a deep breath before responding.

"I watched as he breathed in my scent, his eyes became very dark, almost black. He wanted my blood and he wanted it quickly." She took another deep breath and I felt her emotions again start to go into a whirlwind.

"Anyways, Irina went on and on about how the wolves killed her mate and that she would make sure they were all destroyed. I could hear the other wolves approaching and I'm sure she could as well. She took the chance to lunge at Jake and bit into his throat. He was trying so hard to protect me from the male that he didn't even see her coming. He collapsed to the ground as soon as she sank her teeth into him." Tears were now streaming down her face but she did not stop.

"The male lunged at me but the other wolves were there and they ripped him apart as well as Irina. It was too late for Jake. Vampire venom is deadly to the wolves. He had just enough strength left in him to shift back to his human form. He died there in my arms." She tried to take a breath to calm herself but it did not help. Even through her tears, I could tell she was back in time, reliving what happened.

"Well after that everything went to hell. Lexi blamed me, the pack blamed me, hell I blamed myself. Sam, the alpha of the pack was the only one that did not think it was my fault. But he was the only one. Even Billy, Jakes dad and my fathers' best friend would not speak to me, he wouldn't even look at me. I had to leave the reservation after that. I didn't even get to go to his funeral because they all hated me." This time I could not contain the growl that came from deep in my chest.

Bella did not even turn to look at me as she collected her thoughts. I could not believe this, why would my previous family have ever left her? She again walked away from two vampires. Either she has one hell of a guardian angel or something is meant for her in the future. I pulled in my anger and waited for her to continue.

"Well again I found myself questioning how Alice did not see this, why would she not warn me? I thought she loved me as a sister. So again I called Carlisle and told him what happened. Just to add fuel to the internal rage I was already fighting he already knew. Alice had seen it, she had seen Victoria, she had seen Irina and she just let it happen. She had called him right before me and told him everything." I could now feel the anger in her emotions.

She had every right to be angry, Alice could have protected her, prevented the loss of her father and best friend. I had to ask, "Did she tell Carlisle why she did not help you?" My own anger was bubbling up again. Anger not directed at Bella but at Alice.

"She told him that these things had to occur to get me to my final place. That she could not interfere because it would change my future. I was so beyond angry at her. I hated her for so long after that. She could have saved my father and my best friend but she didn't." Again hot tears flowed from her and I again wrapped her tighter in my arms. Why would Alice do that?

Another question popped into my head, "Bella you said you hated her for long, have you forgiven her?" If she says yes I am going to scream. There is no way in hell she should be forgiven.

"No I have not forgiven her, but I no longer hate her. I don't know what would happen if I saw her again but I certainly can never forgive her. I have just learned to get past the hate, it solves nothing, it changes nothing." She sank deeper into my chest as her tears continued.

I replayed her words over and over in my head as we sat in silence. She got past it, no she did not forgive her, but she got past it. She certainly does not hold grudges like I would. After several minutes of silence it dawned on me that Bella needed to eat. "Bella would you like me to get you some breakfast before you continue?" I asked not really sure if she would tell me more or not. I somehow new that she had more to tell.

She disentangled herself from me and looked into my eyes. I saw so much sadness and pain in her eyes in that moment that if my heart could have broken it would have. "Actually I will pass on the breakfast part, but I could certainly use some coffee." I was not going to push her to eat but I would ensure she ate later.

I stood up and headed towards the door, "Okay, I'll be right back." She nodded at me and leaned back into the pillows and again shut her eyes. I looked at her one more time before I headed out of the room. Lucky for me there was a coffee shop two buildings down. I walked in and immediately regretted not asking what kind of coffee she wanted. Who knew there were so many choices?

As I approached the counter quickly scanning the large menu I decided it would be best to just ask for the four most popular, that way she could have her pick. A young blond at the counter asked what I would like and I told her to just give me the four most popular. She looked at me like I was crazy but did not argue.

Finally after 9 minutes of waiting for the coffees and paying I was heading back to the room. As I walked in I immediately noticed Bella was not on the bed. I felt a flicker of panic before I heard the toilet flush. Shit… Get a grip Jasper… She walked out of the bathroom looking as radiant as ever, however, I could still see the pain in her eyes. She glanced at the four cups I was holding and chuckled.

She smiled before she spoke, "Sorry I guess I should have told you what I like." I smiled back to her as she walked over to me and took one of the cups and smelt it. "Ummm, chocolate." I had to smile at that. She really seemed pleased with that one. She set it done and repeated the process with each of the others.

She again trapped me in her gaze, "Thank you Jasper. I like all of these, now I just have to pick which to start with." She winked at me as she picked up the chocolate latte, holy shit she winked at me. For some reason that small gesture made me feel something I have not felt in so very long. I couldn't even place it.

She returned to the bed and again leaned against the headboard, slowly sipping her coffee. I again returned to her side on the bed and looked at her. Her eyes were closed as she sighed after another small sip of her coffee. She had a bit of whipped cream on her upper lip and instinct took me over. I reach over and gently wiped it off of her face. Her eyes snapped open and met mine, "Sorry."

I immediately apologized for my act although I truly was not sorry. My finger was still tingling from where I touched her upper lip. She smiled at me, "Don't worry about it." She then licked her lips and my mind went numb momentarily as I watched her tongue trace across her lips making them moist. What the hell is wrong with me?

She again dropped back against the pillows and closed her eyes. I hesitated before I asked, "Bella, will you tell me the rest now?" I asked quietly, desperate to know but hoping the worst was over.

She took another sip of the drink before starting again, "So anyways Carlisle again offered to move me in with them but again I refused. I had to do things my way. I had to find myself and try to get away from all the horrible things that had happened. So I moved to England hoping for a new start." She again sipped on her coffee, then took a deep breath.

"Well I had plenty of money between the insurance on the house and my father's insurance policy and pension, I was set. So I left Washington with only one bag, my passport, some cash and bank documents. All I wanted was a fresh start so I focused on me for a while." She smiled softly and her emotions reflected some sort of relief.

I was completely engrossed in her again as she continued, "I arrived in England and quickly found a flat to rent. I furnished it with things I liked and did not have to worry about pleasing anyone else. I shopped when I wanted to, I dressed how I wanted, hell I did whatever I wanted for several months. I enrolled in dance classes, as well as kick boxing to try to fix whatever was broken with my balance. It worked after about eight months." Again she smiled as she thought back to a different time.

I suddenly found myself wanting to share a dance with her, to experience her new found grace. Again Bella broke my thoughts as she proceeded, I felt a shift in her emotions before she spoke, I detected fear, "Well I was heading home one evening after my kick boxing class not really paying attention to what was going on around me. Two men approached me and well let's just say they tried to attack me." Again my anger flared. I could not imagine another human harming her.

Again not even noticing my reaction she continued, "At that moment in time I was thrilled that I had spent the last eight months learning to kick box. I took out the first one easily but the second was not so easy. He fought back, he slapped me so hard he cracked my cheek bone." I again openly growled, my rage coming to the front. She placed her warm hand on mine and looked into my eyes.

She gently rubbed her hand across mine, immediately causing my anger to diminish, "Even though I was in terrible pain I still managed to land a good kick into his groin. He dropped to the ground and I ran. I found a cop shortly and took him back to the scene. The two were arrested and I went to the hospital. I recovered fairly quickly and returned to my normal activities but paid better attention to my surroundings."

She gave me a reassuring smile before continuing, "So I was in England for about a year before I met someone. He was a really nice guy and never pressured me to do anything." Another new emotion coursed through me, jealousy. Why the hell would I be jealous, she had a right to do whatever she pleased.

"Dylan and I spent the next several months enjoying each others company but I was not whole. I could not tell him about my life, hell who would believe me?" I had to chuckle, she had a point. Again her feelings shifted to sadness as I tried to understand the jealousy coursing through me. "Four months into our relationship he was killed, although they never determined the cause of death I was certain it was a vampire. They said he bled out but I was the one that found him and there was very little blood near him."

WHAT? She couldn't escape our kind? Jesus Christ how the hell has she survived the past four years without being killed or killing herself? "So again I was alone. The difference was I came to terms with it quickly. I left England and moved to Brazil hoping that if I went to an area full of sun I would leave the world of vampires behind."

I just continued to stare at the woman beside me, still shocked by how terrible her life has been. Her voice brought me back to the present, "I lived in Brazil for a while but never really enjoyed it. I had spent so long away from the sun that I found myself cursing it daily. I found a martial arts teacher in Brazil that taught me the art of meditation, I also learned an ancient form of martial arts. That was the only thing that keep me in the area was the time I spent with my teacher."

Ok that is just hot, she learned martial arts! Again she broke into my thoughts, "I continued to call Carlisle frequently to check in but about a month ago he told me he had talked to Aro and was reminded about the agreement his 'children' made. Carlisle did not tell him about me and Edward at the time but he did decide to tell me about Alice and Edward."

She again closed her eyes and leaned into me, "I felt like I had been betrayed. I wondered how they could do that to me and for the first time in nearly four years I thought of you. I wondered if you new and if so how you took the news. I spent that entire night coming to terms with it. I had stopped loving Edward years ago, but it still hurt. I called Carlisle back the next day and asked for Aro's number."

This time I gasped loud enough for her to stop. She looked at me, questioning my reaction. I shook my head willing her to continue so I did not have to speak yet. "So I called Aro and told him about Edward and me. I shared with him some of the details of my past, but not all. I then told him I wanted to come to them to be changed and fulfill my part of the agreement because I wanted no harm to come to the Cullen family and he agreed. I also asked about you. He told me you were there but you were just a shell of a creature. You hated everyone and everything." Again her hand was on mine rubbing it soothingly.

I thought she would wait for me to respond but she continued never moving her eyes from mine, "Jasper, although I never really got to know you before. You deserve more. You deserve to find happiness again. Once again I find myself wanting to apologize to you for everything." She slowly wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.

My arms on there own accord wrapped around her tiny waist and pulled her to me. We stayed in each others arms for an immeasurable amount of time, but all too soon for my liking she released me and kissed my cheek softly before returning to her place on the bed. I was shocked by her display of affection. But more than anything I was shocked by what she said. She thinks I deserve happiness.

I looked at again her before speaking, "Bella you are the first person to ever say I deserve happiness. That means so very much to me. But please do not apologize to me. I should be begging for your forgiveness, you really have walked the fires of hell. I am stunned that you survived everything and only seem to be stronger now because of it all." She sighed at my words.

"Jasper I traveled a long, rough road to get to this point and I still struggle everyday to except everything that has happened." Yes I knew that already. She does not sleep well, I witnessed that last night. Her dreams haunt her and she has lost the light that once danced in her eyes. I that moment I decided I would try to be the one to help her get the light back, she said I deserve happiness but damn it she deserves it more.

**PLEASE REVIEW***


	8. Chapter 8

*****I own nothing, Ms. Meyer owns the characters. *****

**Thank you all for your reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review and let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 8**

After listening to everything that Bella had lived through I needed to get away from her for a little while. It was all too much. She has experienced so much pain and loss, no one should have to suffer the ways she has. I looked over at her, again she appeared as if she was completely at peace, but I new that was not the case, "Bella I am going to go for a quick hunt. I won't be gone long, okay?" I asked but really her answer did not matter, I had to get away from her.

She simply nodded and I darted from the room. My anger was returning, stronger than before as I replayed our conversation. Alice. How could she not help Bella? She loved her as a sister, as a friend. And Edward, how could he give up such an extraordinary woman. He never deserved her love, she is far to good for him. I allowed my senses to take me over and hunted with more feeling than I have in the past four years.

After spending two hours away I had the unexplainable urge to hurry back to Bella. What the hell is going on with me? So many emotions that I have not felt in so many years coursing through me. Hope, desire, jealousy, now that one I do not understand and something else I still cannot pinpoint. Bella has somehow brought me back from the brink. I just don't understand how.

As I came upon the hotel I slowed my pace to a walk. I was not sure what I would be walking in to. She had felt so much pain while reliving her past to me. As I opened the door I was again assaulted with her intoxicating aroma. The scene in front of me made me freeze.

Bella had her back to the door, earphones in, she was doing some sort of stretching maneuver that was the most alluring thing I had ever seen. As I watched her body shift from one position to the next I could see her muscles stretch and tighten. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She again took my breath away. As she bent over into her next position her eyes caught mine. She did not stop her stretching, only shifted slightly so our eyes could remain locked with one another.

She finally released me from her gaze when she shut her eyes and sank to the floor. Her body was covered in a light sheen from her workout but it only made her more astounding. I slowly approached her, again finding hope creep into me that our earlier closeness was still acceptable to her. I needed to be close to her and had no idea why.

She pulled her earphones out and smiled softly at me. "How was your hunt?" I chuckled, only Bella would ask that question. "Satisfying," I smiled back at her before sitting next to her. I again could not take my eyes off of her, somehow in less than 24 hours she had changed me. I was no longer the angry, selfish creature that picked her up from the airport. I was slowly becoming more, but I still did not understand how she altered me so completely so quickly.

She brought me back to the present by speaking again, "Thank you for listening to me. It has been so long since I spoke of everything that has come to pass in my life. Somehow I feel lighter than I have in a very long time." She again grabbed my hand and held it in her small warm hand, soothingly rubbing her thumb across mine.

"Bella I should be thanking you. You shared so much of yourself with me and I did nothing to deserve the trust you placed in me. I have existed for the past four years as nothing more than a self-loathing creature. Somehow you have brought me back to life. So truly it is I that owe you." I gently squeezed her hand. Her emotions swirled around me and I was surprised by how peaceful they felt.

We sat in comfortable silence before she released my hand and informed me that she was going to shower. I nodded and stood and walked to the bed sinking in to it. How I longed to sleep. Feeling so at ease for the first time in so many years, I longed to dream and I knew that Bella would be all I dreamed of if I could.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I did not hear her leave the bathroom and approach me. Her voice brought me back, "When will we be going to see Aro?" She asked, her voice strong but I could hear the sadness in it. I felt her emotions again shift to resignation and pain. All the walls that had been knocked down between us moments ago were back, solid as ever. What the hell happened?

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked already knowing the answer. She was giving up on her human life. She let me in and regretted it and I did not know how to get back to where we were before. My own feeling of peace rapidly left only to be replaced again with the hopelessness that I felt before. She sat next to me before responding.

"Jasper, I have to get this over with. I have put this off for so long hoping that something would change, but the reality of it is that the longer I put it off the more I lose. Everyone that I have gotten close to has lost his or her lives. I cannot risk harm coming to the only family I have left. I love Carlisle as a father and Esme as a mother and I miss Rose and Emmett. I want to get past my first year and return to them." She spoke so calmly, almost without any emotion. It was alarming.

"Bella, you are safe with me. Nothing will hurt you or them. Aro told me to take my time, he trusts me and you can too. We can take as much time as you want. We don't have to hurry. You will have an eternity ahead of you before long." All I wanted was our closeness back, I wanted her to need me they way she needed them. No want is the wrong word, I needed her to need me.

She fell back on the bed and shut her eyes, taking several deep breaths to calm herself. Her emotions again shifted to longing, love but there was still the underlying pain. She did not respond to me so I decided to continue. "Bella you trusted me with your past. Can you try to trust me with a part of your future?" I asked again finding hope spring up in me.

A future that did not include Bella did not seem very appealing suddenly. The woman lying next to me now held my world in her hands. Her answer would either save me or completely break me. Again I did not understand how she had so completely taken over my every thought, but she did. I needed to be her protector, I needed her to desire me how I desired her.

She rolled herself to her side, her body heat scorching into my cool body. She opened her eyes and met mine. I don't know what she was looking for or what she found but she reached up and softly brushed my hair from my eyes. She still had not answered me and any hope that had started to rise was rapidly falling. She was going to reject me, just like everyone else. I did not deserve her in my life, I am a monster. She is an angel and I am a demon.

I dropped my eyes from hers, all hope gone again. Self-loathing returning stronger than ever. I was so wrapped up in my own self-hatred that I did not notice her shift closer to me. She moved ever so slow towards me, I had no idea what she was doing. She gently placed her soft full lips upon mine. I was frozen, too shocked to respond to her soft kiss. She backed up from me and I felt her feeling of rejection.

Her eyes shut and I saw a single tear fall from her beautiful face before I could move. I reached over to her, pulling back to me and whispered to her, "May I kiss you now?" Her eyes were still shut but she nodded. I moved my lips to hers and she instantly responded. The kiss started so slow, our emotions swirling around us. Desire, love, hope and a small bit of fear. I know the fear was coming from Bella.

I slowly ran my tongue across her full bottom lip, requesting entrance. She obliged without hesitation. Her desire mirrored mine and all I wanted was to spend forever kissing the amazing woman in my arms. I have never experienced a kiss that was more powerful or more filled with emotion. As she pulled back from me I opened my eyes only to see tears falling freely from her.

I again pulled her to me in a strong embrace, "Bella, why are you crying?" My voice sounded desperate even to me. She opened her eyes and met mine. "I have not been close to anyone in so long. I am feeling things that I thought were dead in me and I'm scared to death that you are going to realize that you don't want me. I want nothing more than to have you in my future but I am terrified of letting myself love again."

WHAT? Was she insane, how the hell could I not want her?

"I promise you I am just as frightened as you. A little over a day ago I hated you. Today I am finding it harder and harder to resist loving you. You are an amazing woman and I am terrified of you. Your beauty, your strength, your determination, everything that makes you who you are draws me in. I am not good enough for you. No one is." I looked into her glorious eyes, waiting for her to pull away from me and realize I was in fact a monster, unworthy of her or anyone else.

Her gaze never faltered as her emotions washed over me in waves. Desire, love, hope, more desire. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me again, with more passion than the last kiss. She deepened the kiss this time and I again felt lost in her. How was it possible to already feel love for her? At this moment I knew, the past was the past and Bella held my future in her hands. I was at her mercy.

*****Please review!*****


	9. Chapter 9

*****SM owns the characters.******

**Thank you all for you kind reviews and story alerts. I hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think! **

**Two chapters in one day, hopefully this will make up for my delay in updating!**

Chapter 9

After several more gentle loving kisses Bella curled into me and slowly drifted to sleep. I could not believe how drastically my world shifted. Somehow in less than two days the woman laying in my arms changed me from the monster I was to a something more. All I wanted was for us to stay in our own little world and never emerge, but alas I knew there were forces working against that thought.

Bella was sacrificing her human life for the Cullen's. Giving up so many things for the family that hurt her so badly. Although my selfish side was thrilled, we would be able to explore a much more intimate relationship. As I watched her sleep I realized how truly special she is. Yes her beauty was unmatched but her mind was extraordinary. She has fully captivated me and just don't understand how Edward ever let her go.

I wondered what she would think of me after I shared my history with her. When she opens her eyes as a vampire she will see the real me, scars and all. I will have to tell her when she wakes. Prepare her for the horrors she will see in me. She will hate me then, I killed many, without regret, vampire and human alike. I know she will run from me, hell I would expect nothing different. I am a monster, I never denied it.

She slowly began to stir in my arms, she slept peacefully, no nightmares. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at me. All my worries filtered from me as I again found myself mesmerized by her smile. She kissed my neck before rising from the bed and heading to the restroom. She did not say anything to me but she didn't need to I could feel all that she felt. She was feeling content, I would imagine for the first time in a long time.

As she emerged from the bathroom I again swept over her with my eyes. Her body would make any female jealous and any male, mortal or immortal drool. She certainly had that effect on me. She sat on the bed and stared at me for a minute before I broke the silence, "Did you sleep well darling?" I could hear my Texan accent in my voice, but I was not sure if she could.

"Good, for the first time in years I slept well." She smiled at me again as her emotions shifted rapidly joy, love, fear, resignation again. I again did not understand the fear, surely she had to know I would not harm her, ever. I sat up and grabbed her small warm hand and held it in mine.

"What has you feeling fear?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know the answer. I just did not want to be the cause of her fear.

She chuckled softly and looked down, "I'm scared of what is to come. I don't want to be a crazed newborn and I don't want to kill anyone. I'm afraid you will disappear after we get to Volterra and I scared to death that I will never be enough." I'm certain my mouth was hanging open. She was more than I would ever deserve, it will be her that runs from me not me leaving her.

"Bella. I cannot tell you how you will behave after your change. As far as me disappearing, that is not going to happen, if anyone will be running from the other, it will be you running from me." Her face was full of disbelief, I didn't even need to feel her emotions, they were clear in her eyes.

She went to speak but I stopped her, "Bella let me tell you my history. Then you will see what a real monster I am. I can promise you that after you hear my story that if you want me to simply take you to Aro and never bother you again I will. I will stay as close or as far as you want me to. But I can guarantee you that I will do everything I can to make sure you do not harm anyone if you will let me. Okay?" She nodded.

So I began my story. I told her the few memories I had of my human life, of being changed my Maria and fighting the vampire wars in the south. I left out no details as I told her of killing humans and vampires alike. As I revisited my past I was again sinking into the depths of despair. There was no way in hell I could stay near her. I don't even deserve to be in this room with her.

I was so far gone as I drifted into my memories of loneliness and despair. Telling her about Peter and Charlotte, how I met Alice, living with the Cullen's for so many years. But I was always an outsider to the family, I never belonged. I showed her the scars on my arms and told her they are all over my body and frightening to the eyes of a vampire. Self-loathing and self hate filled me, I was again lost. A shell of a creature, drowning in a sea of despair.

I again longed for death, someone to end my miserable existence. I did not deserve to walk amongst people like Bella. She deserved happiness, while I deserved death. I was so lost in myself that her gentle touch frightened me. I leaped from the bed and crouched in the corner prepared to attack.

Her soft, sultry voice reached to the depths of what ever soul I had, "Jasper, stop. Please. I need you." Those three simple words brought me back from the edge I was on. She needs me. No she doesn't need me. No one does. I am nothing. I was raging an internal battle, with no clear winning side. I watched as she slowly approached me. No fear in her eyes, only concern. Concern for me.

She reached out to me and wrapped her arms around me. Her gentle touch calmed the battle inside me. The side determined to help her and care for her won. I returned her embrace, probably harder than I intended. I reached out again to feel her emotions. Concern, love, determination. No fear. This woman is fearless when it comes to things that can truly cause her harm.

"Bella, how can you even touch me. I am a monster, you she be terrified of me." I asked again not really wanting to hear her answer. As her warm body melted into mine I again found myself at her mercy.

" I am not afraid of you Jasper. I don't believe you will hurt me. But even if you do I am okay with it. I long ago stopped fearing death, no matter how it comes. I refuse to fear you. You are not a monster. You did horrific things in your past. But that is the past and is not who you are now. You are stronger than you even realize, most would have given up long ago but you remain. You found a different way to live, even after Alice left you. You stayed with it." Love poured from her in waves strong enough to overpower me.

I did not respond as her words played over and over in my mind. I held her as tightly as I could without hurting her. She was my life preserver, in my own personal sea of hell. I know I don't deserve her comfort and certainly not her love but I would give anything for it.

She shifted in my arms to meet my eyes, again I could see all of her emotions play out through her eyes. "Jasper I don't understand what has happened between us but something has. I feel like I am whole again. I feel like I am exactly where I am meant to be. I need you more than I have ever needed another." Her words were honest and heart felt.

I whispered back to her, "I need you as well. More than you could ever imagine. I have been so lost but you have brought me back." She silenced me as she kissed me again. As I returned her kiss everything that held me down was released. I was free. I was a man again, longing for the woman in my arms.

Our kiss lasted several minutes, neither of us wanting it to end. I was no longer drifting in a sea of loneliness. I was no longer lost, Bella found me and saved me from myself. I owed her more than I could ever explain. In a little more than a day she has become my entire world. I could not deny it, I was in love with her.

As our kiss ended she again captured me in her gaze. Her emotions were full of bliss, as were mine and for the first time in so many years I knew where I belonged. Wherever she was. She gave me a beautiful smile that I returned.

"Thank you Bella. No one has ever accepted me like you. You are truly too good for me but I will stay by your side until the day you tell me to go. I need you too." I almost told her I loved her, but I thought it was too soon for that.

She placed a chaste kiss on my lips before standing up. I stood beside her and took her hand in mine. I needed to touch her, even in the simplest of ways. "How about we go out and get you something to eat?" I asked knowing she needed to eat.

"Sounds good, let me go change real quick." She let go of my hand and I immediately felt like part of me was missing. Luckily she only needed a few minutes to change. Again she looked stunning. Wearing a pair of tight dark jeans and a red corset top that only helped to enhance her beauty. She was glorious and for some unknown reason she wanted me.

I again took her hand in mine as we headed out into the early evening. We decided to walk to a restaurant a few blocks away. We were in a small town but the streets were crowded with people out enjoying the warm evening. As we passed a group of young Italian men and their lust reached me, it took all of my strength not to attack them.

I certainly understood it, I mean damn Bella was beyond beautiful. She was a goddess. We walked holding hands talking about simple things. Just enjoying the others company. We finally reached the restaurant and headed in. The woman that greeted us was kind but I could feel her lust. Although I am not sure if she was lusting fro me or for Bella.

Our dinner was peaceful filled with conversation that came easy. I felt like I had known Bella forever she shared stories of her childhood and times with she had with Charlie. I felt her sadness seep in when she mentioned him but it quickly faded. She briefly discussed her mother but never lingered on her for long. I was not sure what occurred in that relationship but it was obviously not something she wanted to discuss so I did not bring it up.

After she finished I paid the bill and we headed back out into the night. The streets were still buzzing with activity and I noticed a small dance club down the street, although the place was more of a bar but it would work. I again found myself longing to dance with Bella. So I took a chance and asked her if she would like to go over to the dance club. She eagerly agreed. She was certainly very different from the girl I remembered from Forks that had a huge fear of dancing.

We went into the bar and without a moment of hesitation Bella pulled me to the dance floor. Every eye in the bar was on us as she moved to the beats of the music. Her body moved in ways that should be illegal against mine. Her hips never stopped as the music changed and the tempo increased. She was amazing. Finally the music changed to a slower song and she turned her body into mine. We became one on the dance floor. Her body mirroring mine. My movements were her movements. Without words we spoke volumes to each other.

As the song drew to a close I pulled her closer to me and gently kissed her full lips. Our passion ignited and I could not stop myself form projecting it. Everyone in the room felt our passion for each other as it escaped me in waves. As our kiss ended I was finally able to regain control of my power. Bella pulled me over to the bar so she could get herself something to drink.

Our evening passed quickly, we danced, she danced, and we kissed over and over again. Every male in the bar watched her as she danced and I could not find it in me to care because I knew without a doubt she was leaving with me. My eyes never left her and I knew without a doubt I was in love with her. She and I belonged together.

We left the bar and headed back towards the hotel. I picked up a scent I did not recognize, there was another vampire very close to us and I did not know what they wanted. I placed Bella behind me as I backed us up to a building, my eyes scanning the area for the foreign vampire.

After standing motionless for several minutes I saw him. Red eyes and emotions of lust and hunger warring in him. He was young and determined to have Bella. Just as I crouched I saw two more sets of red eyes stand next to him.

Shit! I could not take three of them and protect Bella.

We were doomed.

******Please Review******


	10. Chapter 10

*****SM owns the characters.*****

*****I want to thank everyone that has reviewed. I appreciate them all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think.*****

Previously

_Red eyes and emotions of lust and hunger warring in him. He was young and determined to have Bella. Just as I crouched I saw two more sets of red eyes stand next to him. _

_Shit! _

_I could not take three of them and protect Bella. _

_We were doomed._

Chapter 10

As I waited for them to make the first move I could feel Bella's emotions engulf me. Determination, resignation, love. Still no fear, she has already explained to me that she had no fear of death and now I could feel it first hand. I crouched further, they would have to kill me to get to her.

Everything happened so very fast. Two of the bastards lunged at me while the third went at Bella. I easily dodged the attack of the first two while trying to watch what was happening to Bella. The two males attacking me were experienced fighters, they attacked with skill, but I was more experienced. I easily ripped the first ones head from his shoulders.

The second was stronger and faster, but within a few seconds I had him in my arms and quickly ripped his head from his shoulders as well. Somehow I managed to watch the scene in front of me with Bella and the other younger vampire while destroying the first two.

Bella easily dodged his first attack, apparently her time learning martial arts made her response time nearly as fast as a vampires. But the male was faster after two failed attempts at her he changed his attack and had her in his arms just as I destroyed the second one that was attacking me.

His teeth sunk into her throat without delay. I could smell her blood but it did not tempt me, all I wanted was to destroy him. The growl that erupted from me was like nothing I had ever heard before, it was feral. I ripped him off of her and completely destroyed him in seconds. Just as I reached Bella two familiar scents reached me. Felix and Demetri. The sadistic side of me wondered why they couldn't have arrived two minutes ago, but right now my only concern was Bella.

I could hear her heart beat but her breathing was labored and each second that passed her heart slowed. There was no venom in her system, the bastard only drank from her. He drank a lot.

As Felix and Demetri approached, I again crouched in front of Bella. I would protect her even if it meant destroying two of my fellow guard members. I watched as they approached and as they swept over the scene in front of them. Three vampires dead and a beautiful woman lying next to me barely alive.

Demetri was the first to speak, "Jasper, you will have to change her if you do not want her to die." I always found Demetri to be level headed. He could be evil and a monster in the truest sense but underneath it all he was somehow kind. I nodded in response, to afraid to speak not knowing how my voice would sound. I was terrified of losing her, I just found her.

Felix was a different story, the sweet aroma of Bella's blood was becoming difficult for him to resist. As he swept over her with his eyes, his lust become stronger than his bloodlust. He wanted her, no her blood. Another feral growl came from me. He immediately stepped back.

Demetri again spoke, "Felix and I will clean up this mess. You need to do it now if you wish to save her." His eyes swept over Bella as well but his emotions only reflected concern and somehow protectiveness. What the hell was it with Bella and vampires, you either wanted to love her endlessly or protect her with your own life.

I again nodded as I turned to Bella her heartbeats were slowing as each second passed. I whispered softly in her ear, "I am so sorry Bella. I have to change you now, it is the only way." I gently kissed her lips and whispered across them, "I love you." Her eyes fluttered open and locked with mine momentarily. Her love poured over me in the strongest waves I have ever felt.

As she sent out her love to me I sank my teeth into her soft neck and pushed as much venom in as I could. I quickly sealed the wound with my tongue. I repeated the process over and over until I was certain there was enough venom in her to make her change go as rapidly as possible. Her blood was intoxicating on my lips, I had never tasted another's as sweet, nut it paled in comparison to her taste when we kissed.

My eyes again met with Demetri's, they had dragged the three vampires off and already disposed of them. "Jasper you need to get her to Volterra. We will accompany you. Let's go." His words were a demand, and I knew they were true, I had to get her out of this town before she started screaming.

We rushed to the hotel, me cradling Bella in my arms while Felix and Demetri ran in front of me. Felix raced into our room and gathered our belongings while I settled into the back seat with Bella safely in my arms. Her heartbeat was still slow but it was steady, she would be a vampire very soon.

Felix tossed our stuff into the trunk and climbed into the passenger seat while Demetri sat behind the wheel. I finally found my voice, "Who were they?" Demetri would know what I was talking about without further clarification.

"We have been tracking them since yesterday. We do not know what they wanted but they did not come to Volterra, they were hunting very close to us and used no discretion. Aro sent us to take care of them, but obviously they found you before we found them." His eyes met mine in the rearview mirror, I could feel his sorrow and a touch of confusion. Felix was still sending waves of lust towards Bella, but I just ignored him.

Demetri continued, "You seem very different, what changed?" His eyes were still locked with mine but I could feel his curiosity. Yes he was observant. His gaze shifted minutely to the woman in my arms and understanding washed over him. I answered with a single word, "Bella."

A small smile crossed his face but rapidly disappeared. The remainder of the ride was silent as I kept Bella wrapped tightly in my arms. Just as we entered the underground garage I felt her pain spike, she made no sound but her pain was nearly overwhelming. I rushed from the car to my room, never releasing her from my embrace.

Her pain continued to wash over me but she remained motionless and quiet. I was becoming concerned, everyone that goes through the burn screams endlessly, but she remained silent. I gentle knock on the door forewarned of Aro's entrance. I could feel his concern and relief as he walked into my room. His eyes rapidly took in the sight in front of him.

He spoke softly but with authority, "Jasper you did very well. She will be your sire. When I spoke to her before she requested that she not be forced to feed from humans, I told her there was one amongst us that shared the diet she wished to have. You will teach her and guide her." I nodded at him, still to concerned for Bella to speak.

"She will be fine. She is very strong to endure the burn silently, I know of only one other that could do that." Then it clicked, Carlisle remained silent during his change as well. She would be fine. Aro continued, "I see you have found some sort of peace within yourself my son," For the first time I did not cringe at his use of the terms son.

"Jasper, she has altered you in a very short amount of time. Did you hear her story?" I again nodded and he continued. "Marcus will be in to see you in a few moments." He again looked Bella over before turning towards the door. "She is very beautiful woman. She will be a stunning vampire." With that he exited my room.

It seemed seconds later Marcus was at my door. He entered silently and stared at us for several minutes before speaking, "You two have created an outstanding bond. It was intensified when your venom entered her system. Your bond is now unbreakable, I do hope you use it wisely." He turned and left before I could respond.

I know he left to share his thoughts with Aro, but I really did not care. I was again left alone with Bella and my thoughts. Is she going to hate me for changing her, did she want me to let her die? I had no idea and it would be days before I could find out.

Time passed so slowly as her pain continued to wash over me. I stroked her hair and sent as much calm to her as I could but I did not know if it helped, I only hoped it did. I never released my hold on her and placed endless kisses upon the top of her head. I murmured my apologies over and over, again hoping she could hear me.

On the second day Heidi knocked on my door and entered. "Jasper, Aro sent me with a change of clothes for her. Please let me change her so she will be more comfortable. Her body is changing and the clothing she is in now needs to be changed." I could feel her fear but also concern. She truly only wanted to make Bella more comfortable but was terrified of me.

I slowly released Bella and laid her gently on my bed. "Thank you Heidi, I will wait outside." She nodded and walked towards Bella as I exited the room. After several minutes Heidi opened the door. "She is lovely Jasper." I could feel her emotions shift rapidly, concern, hope, and a small bit of envy escaped her.

My eyes briefly met hers before shifting to the creature lying in my bed, "Thank you again. And yes she is lovely, inside and out." My voice was laced with raw emotion. Heidi gently placed her hand upon my shoulder and squeezed gently before exiting the room.

I returned to Bella's side and again wrapped her in my arms. Heidi changed Bella into a lightweight royal blue dress. Even in her current condition she was in fact beyond exquisite. I could not take my eyes off of her as her features changed and your skin lightened slightly. I shut my eyes and endlessly whispered my love to her. Finally the third day was upon us.

Aro, Marcus and Caius entered my room as her heart beat a final time. The moment of truth was now upon me. Again my life was in her hands. I stood from the bed but kept her small hand in mine while I waited for her to open her eyes.

Two minutes after her final heartbeat her eyes opened. Faster than I could even see she ripped her hand from mine and twirled off the bed and was in a defensive crouch in the corner. Her eyes swept over the room rapidly. She met Aro's eyes briefly before shifting to Marcus. Upon meeting Caius' eyes a growl erupted from her. I could not feel her emotions at all and it terrified me.

I spoke as softly as I could, "Bella, darling, look at me." Her eyes shifted to me and she visibly relaxed. She slowly stood from her crouch and I was finally able to take her in. Good lord she was gorgeous.

Her hair was longer and her red highlights were more prominent. She grew a few inches, perhaps she was now five foot eight. Her body that was so defined in her human state was even more alluring. Her curves were perfect. Her face was mesmerizing. Her features were more defined now, her lips fuller and her eyes. Her lashed were even longer than before, her depthless brown eyes were now depthless red with flakes of brown in them.

I was speechless as I drank her in, "Jasper," her voice that was so alluring when she was human now simply could not be described with words. She spoke a single word and I watched as wonder and confusion passed her eyes. I took slow steps to her, trying not to frighten her.

Before I could close the distance between us she did. She wrapped her arms around me in an almost painful embrace. "Bella, how do you feel?" I spoke softly to her as I wrapped her safely in my arms.

She stepped back from me slightly and met my eyes, "Strange. I feel good but different. Everything is so clear and crisp. Everything smells so strong. You smell like honey and spice and fresh rain." I chuckled as she described my scent.

Aro could no longer remain quiet, "Bella dear, welcome back to Volterra. I am sorry for they way you had to arrive but I am very happy to see you again. May I?" He held his hand up to her. I knew he would not be able to read her but he had to try.

She slipped out of my arms and glided over to him. She took his hand in hers and watched him closely. His emotions shifted from hope to uncertainty as he realized he still could not read her.

"Interesting, you are still as silent as ever my dear." He released her hand and stepped back to me. Caius' emotions concerned me, he was full of fear and hate towards her. I did not understand it at all. My embrace tightened around her as I watched him closely.

He spoke with venom in his voice, "Why are you here and what are your intentions young one?" He was condescending and spiteful as he spoke. Aro placed his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him.

Bella responded instantly with the same venom in her voice, "I do not know what I did to make you despise me so much but I am only here to gain control and I will leave as soon as I am safe to the outside world." Her confidence escalated as well as her anger as she continued, "I will not be treated this way by you. If you desire respect I suggest you show some."

It took all of my control not to laugh. No one spoke to one of the brothers like that, but she was right and Aro was highly amused. He could not contain his laughter. Marcus soon joined in, while Caius scowled.

"I suggest you watch yourself young one. One wrong step and I will not hesitate to have you destroyed." Venom dripped from his voice as he turned and left my room. I would have to help her to gain control quickly so we could get out of here. He was not one to piss off.

Aro interrupted my thoughts when he spoke, "No worries my children, I will speak with him. Jasper perhaps you should take young Bella to hunt, she must be very thirsty." With that he and Marcus left after I nodded my agreement to him.

I turned Bella to face me, "Are you ready for your first hunt, darling?" She smiled a small smile at me before nodding. I grabbed her hand in mine and pulled her out of my room and headed out the door darting with her by my side towards the forest. This should be fun.

*****No major cliffie this time. Please review!*****


	11. Chapter 11

*****Ms. Meyer owns the characters. I just like to make them do stuff my way!*****

**Sorry for the delay in updating, but I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Thank you to everyone that has reviewed this story. I really appreciate it. I am dedicating this chapter to – Jasper's Dark Angel – She requested an update to this story and I decided to go ahead and write this chapter tonight.**

**As always please R&R.**

Chapter 11

We reached the edge of the forest quickly, I forgot how fast newborns are. As we entered the trees we slowed slightly but our hands remained intertwined the entire time. We were several miles into the forest before I pulled us to a stop. Bella turned and looked at me quizzically.

"We can hunt here, no need to go any further." I told her in response to the confused look on her beautiful face. She nodded and waited for me to continue. I released her hand from mine and looked into her eyes.

"What do you smell, darling?" I could smell the scents of many animals not far from us, so I was certain she would as well. I watched her facial expressions change as she took in the aromas that wafted around us.

Her eyes never left mine as she answered, "The most prominent scents are vanilla and cinnamon but I also smell something else that seems to be pulling me in, what is that?" I was amazed that she described my scent first with the smell of blood in the air.

"That my dear would be brown bear and wolf." She cringed when I said wolf and her eyes immediately glazed over. Oh shit, I am truly a heartless monster. Her eyes shifted to the ground. How I wished I could read her emotions at this moment. "I'm sorry Bella, we will stay away from the wolves, ok?" I asked hoping to make her feel better.

She nodded but refused to look at me. "Bella you need to hunt, you must be terribly uncomfortable." I was hoping I could pull her back to me. She was so calm, I did not understand it, she should have been crazy with thirst.

"What do I do?" She asked, but her voice was different, I could hear the sadness in it. I placed my hand under her chin in an effort to lift her face to meet my eyes again. She was stronger than me but did not fight me.

"Bella it is instinct. What do you feel like doing?" I watched as her eyes darkened and I knew she was about to take off. A second later she was gone, I trailed behind her keeping a safe distance. I jumped into a tree and watched as she took down a large brown bear. She was fast and already looked like she was experienced. She quickly snapped the bears neck and latched onto its' neck greedily drinking from the creature.

She drained the bear in less than a minute. Just as she finished another scent drifted from the south. Human. Shit! I launched myself from the tree I was in but Bella was faster. She was already several yards in front of me following the scent of human blood. No, I had to stop her, she would not have to live with the guilt of killing a human. I pushed myself harder than ever before closing the distance between us.

I pounced on her just as the two humans came into view. I was on top of her pinning her to the ground. I whispered in her ear, "Bella, they are humans, do you want to kill them?" I asked, my tone unintentionally harsh. She was trying to push me off and damn she was strong. It took all of my strength to hold her down.

I again spoke, "Bella, stop breathing now." I demanded, leaving no room for argument. I felt her air intake cease. She stopped fighting me after a few seconds and I took the opportunity to flip her over. I had her pinned beneath me with her arms locked over her head. Her eyes were black and I could see that her reasoning had not yet returned.

"Bella we need to leave this area. If I let you up, you must not breathe and you must follow me. Do you understand?" She nodded and I slowly released her arms, she did not try to attack me so I stood and pulled her up with me. I grabbed her hand and nearly dragged her away from the humans.

We traveled a few miles before I stopped again. I turned to look at her, "You can breathe again, their scent is gone." I watched as she took an unneeded breath. The black of her eyes was slowly decreasing, her control returning. "Bella, are you okay?" I asked already knowing the answer by looking at her face. She was devastated.

She dropped to the ground and held her face in her hands. Dry sobs racked her body. I dropped beside her and wrapped her in my arms. "Shhh, it's okay darling. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault I should have scouted the area first before letting you go." She shook her head \, still unable to speak.

Her venom was seeping from her mouth. She was suffering and I could nothing to help her. I tried to send her waves of calm but nothing was working. We stayed sitting on the forest floor for hours, me feeling utterly useless as she continued to sob. Finally she calmed herself, the sobs ceased.

In the softest voice I have ever heard she spoke, "I almost killed them. I wanted to kill them. What is wrong with me?" She questioned, although I found the question to be absurd I knew I had to respond.

"Bella you are a vampire now. Human blood will always call to you. It will get easier, you are not even a full day old and the fact that you let me stop you demonstrates enormous control." I was honest with her, I would always be honest with her. She should have tried to kill me when I tackled her but she allowed me to restrain her.

"But I knew what I was becoming. I should have been able to control myself. You should not have needed to retrain me." She was rapidly spiraling down again. I had to stop it. I could hear the self-loathing and anger in her voice. I could not allow her to become angry, I would not be able to calm her.

"You did what was natural. You are far more in control than any newborn I have witnessed and I have been around a lot of newborns. You need to calm down, I cannot help you with my gift. You are blocking me out and I don't know what to do to assist you." I could hear the desperation in my voice, I felt like I was losing her because I could not sense her. It was a rather confusing sensation.

She gasped and pulled back from my embrace and looked into my eyes. I'm not sure what she was searching for or what she found but I could see her body relax. Her facial features also softened, she was coming back to me. As her body relaxed I felt her shift slightly and it felt like she was melting into me again. I never wanted to lose this feeling.

After several minutes of silence I spoke again, "Do you want to continue our hunt?" I questioned hesitantly. Again watching her face, hoping that I would not cause her undo stress again. She nodded and slowly pulled herself out of my arms and stood.

I did not need to tell her again what to do, she did it on her own. I again traveled behind her as she took down a deer. She again looked like she had been doing this for years. She did not dribble a single drop of blood but her dress was rather dirty. She still looked stunning. After two more deer she turned and grinned at me before leaping into the closest tree. I followed her up.

She had perched herself near the top of the tree. She was gorgeous. Night was now falling around us and a few stars were coming out. She stared up at the sky looking incredibly relaxed. I sat across from her never taking my eyes off her. Again we sat in silence as she watched the night sky and I watched her.

Finally she turned to look at me and spoke, "Everything is so much clearer now. The stars don't seem as far away as they used to. I can see every detail of everything. The world really is breathtaking now." She was so calm as she spoke. I desperately wanted to feel her emotions.

"Yes it is. I forget how different everything looked through human eyes." I tried to keep our conversation light. I reached out to take her hand in mine. She glanced down at my hand joined with hers before looking back into my eyes.

"They fit together perfectly." A small smile crossed her face. I could not hold back my own grin. "Yes they do." I could not break the gaze she had me trapped in. I don't know how long we stared at each other, neither of us speaking but it was very comfortable.

Finally she broke the silence, "Should we be getting back?" She asked. I could hear the hesitancy in her voice and I was reminded of the conversation that occurred with Caius. I had to find out what caused her reaction to him.

"Yes, but first could you tell me what happened with Caius?" Her body tensed and her face became very serious. Again several minutes passed and I was unsure if she was gathering her thoughts or if she was not going to answer. Finally she responded.

"I don't know how to really describe it. When I looked at him I felt like he was going to attack me. I just got a really bad feeling about him and I sensed I needed to protect myself. That's the only way I can describe it." She concluded in a strong tone. Her answer worried me and I again thought about how quickly we needed to develop her control so we could leave.

I held her hand a little tighter before I responded, "He is the most difficult of the brothers. It seems no one ever pleases him and he always emanates feelings of hatred and seems to despise anything and everything. He is rather strange." I told her as honestly as I could but I did not yet want to tell her my concerns because I was not sure if they were misplaced or not.

She gave me a small nod before releasing my hand and jumping down from the tree. She landed silently and again I was shocked by how natural she was as a vampire. Her movements were even more graceful than when she was human and she carried herself with just as much confidence as she had before. She stood at the bottom of the tree waiting for me.

I jumped down and again grabbed her hand in mine before we started back to Volterra. The moon was shining bright over us as we ran, making Bella appear even more alluring. Her hair flowed behind her, hints of red reflecting from the moonlight. Her face glowed in the dim light and she again entranced me. She really did take my breath away.

As we entered the castle we slowed to a walk. We neared my room before I smelt Jane and Demetri. Bella smelled them as well, she stopped pulling me to a stop beside her. We heard their footsteps approach and Bella crouched down. We saw them seconds later. Demetri was smiling at Bella and again his emotions only showed protectiveness and concern.

Jane looked angry, as usual. Her emotions immediately shifted from mild annoyance to jealousy and hatred as she saw Bella for the first time. I imagine jealously will be a common feeling from the other female vampires when they see Bella. A low growl erupted from Bella as she locked eyes with Jane.

Jane gave her sadistic smile that I knew was her attempting to use her gift. I tensed, ready to attack if necessary. Bella's growl became more feral as Jane began to back up. She was for the first time feeling fear. She finally met someone that her gift did not work on. Bella did not stand from her crouch before she spoke.

"Your nasty little gift did not work on me when I was human, did you really think it would work now?" She spat out at Jane, venom coating her words. She really was terrifying in this state. Jane quickly shook her head no and took another step back. Demetri interceded, trying to avert a battle between them.

"Hello Bella, it is nice to see you again. I am glad to see your change went smoothly. I do hope you had a pleasant hunt." His words were sincere and his voice reflected his sincerity. Bella stood from her crouch as she met his gaze.

"Hello Demetri. Yes this meeting is far better than our last. You are not nearly as terrifying as the last time I saw you." She smiled at him and her tone was light, almost joking. It was nice to see and hear her like this again. Demetri chuckled at her statement before responding.

"I imagine to a human I am rather frightening." He grinned at her and she let out a soft musical laugh. I wanted to hear it again, it was like a song of its very own. Beautiful and enticing just like Bella. As I watched their exchange I could not help the small amount of jealousy that sprang up in me.

Demetri had made her laugh and already had her smiling easily at him. My feeling of jealousy was immediately stopped when she again took my hand in hers and squeezed softly. Demetri took our small exchange as his sign to depart and quickly said goodbye and departed, taking a sullen Jane with him.

We continued on to my room only to be greeted by a smiling Heidi. Damn, was I ever going to get Bella alone again? I knew everyone was going to want to meet her, but did it all have to happen in one day? My annoyance must have been written all over my face because Heidi's smile vanished.

"Hi Bella, I'm Heidi. I just wanted to drop off some clean clothes for you. I figured you would need them after your hunt." She handed a large bag of clothes to Bella and smiled a timid smile at her.

"Hello Heidi. It's a pleasure to meet you and thank you very much for the clothes." Bella returned Heidi's smile with one of her own. I was becoming amazed at how easily she smiled at the others here. Heidi's emotions were truly kind she wanted to become friends with Bella.

After a few moments of pleasantries the ladies agreed to get together later to get to know each other. Finally we entered my room and were alone again. Bella turned to me and took me by surprise when she reached up and placed her lips on mine, kissing me softly. I eagerly responded to her kiss and deepened it. She tasted even sweeter now, I could spend eternity kissing her.

Too soon she stepped back from me and spoke, "I really need a shower, okay?" She gave me a breathtaking smile that momentarily dazed me. I recovered quickly and pointed her to the attached restroom. She gave me one last quick kiss before turning and heading to the restroom.

My thoughts were racing through my mind. I could not believe how much the woman I hated only a few days ago was now everything to me. The smallest touch between us was enthralling and left me wanting so much more. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a gasp from the restroom. I raced to the door and opened it without knocking.

There was the woman I was madly in love with standing in only her bra and panties. And oh my god she was astounding to look at. Whatever I thought of her body before was instantly put to shame by the sight in front of me. Recalling the gasp that caused me to fling the door open brought me out of my ogling, "Bella, what happened, are you alright?" I questioned while still enjoying the sight before me.

I could see her embarrassment in her eyes but she responded, "This was the first time I saw myself and I was a bit taken back. Sorry I did not mean to worry you." Her eyes never left mine as she spoke. Any self-consciousness or embarrassment she was feeling did not come through in her voice.

"Ok, sorry for barging in. I should have knocked. But I must say, you are really the loveliest creature I have ever seen." I am certain if I could have blushed I would have at this awkward moment. She smiled brightly at me.

"Thank you Jasper. And don't worry about not knocking, at least I have something one." I could only nod before turning around and closing the door behind me. How I wished she had less on. I need to stop those thoughts before they get the better of me. I again forced my mind to replay the day's events.

She hunted flawlessly and moved with more grace than I have ever before seen in a vampire. She did not back down from Caius or Jane. She broke down after trying to attack the humans that were foolishly in the forest. I think she will be well in control of herself within a few months, rather than the typical year or more that it takes most.

She really is amazing and was obviously meant for this world. Perhaps that is why she suffered so much before, she was always destined to become one of us. Edward prevented that and set in motion a series of tragic events in her life.

Alice could have stopped so many of the horrendous events that occurred but chose not to. When we cross paths again it will be difficult for me not to attack her. I wonder if Bella would attack her or Edward for all the pain she has suffered. As my mind shifted from one thought to the next, I was so lost in my own mind that I did not hear Bella reenter the room.

Her gentle touch brought me out of my thoughts. She softly and lovingly stroked the scar over my left eye before trailing her fingertips over my cheek and down my neck. She gently touched each scar she came across and I could only see tenderness and love in her eyes.

As my eyes shifted from her face down her body I smiled to myself as I took in what she was wearing. She had on one of my button down shirts and a pair of shorts. She looked amazing. Her hair was still wet from her shower and I watched as a drop of water ran down her neck and get lost in the material of my shirt.

I pulled her close to me and kissed her trying to desperately pour my love for her into the kiss. I wanted her to feel the depth of my feelings for her. Suddenly I was hit was such strong emotions of love and gratitude I nearly fell back. I could feel her again. I had no idea the cause of it but I was thrilled.

As I sent wave after wave of love to her, I felt just as much come back to me. We kissed each other with endless passion. My hands gently ran up and down her back and through her long silky hair, as hers ran through my hair. I pulled her closer to me and I could feel every curve of her body pressed tightly to mine.

Our bodies fit together perfectly. Finally she pulled back from me and locked me in her eyes again. "I love you Jasper. I don't know how I fell in love with you so quickly but I did and I want to share everything with you." She smiled softly at me and again placed a soft kiss on my lips.

I pulled away this time, "I love you too Bella." Such simple words somehow meant everything to me. I didn't understand how our feelings ignited so quickly either but I wouldn't change it for the world. I kissed her again before trailing soft kisses along her jaw and down her neck and up to her ear.

Suddenly I felt fear come from her.

*****Please review*****


	12. Chapter 12

*****SM owns the characters.*****

**Thank you to all that have reviewed and added this story to their favorites! Sorry for the delay in updating. I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 12

Fear. What in the world would cause fear to come from her at this moment? I pulled back from her so I could look into her eyes. "What's wrong Bella? I can feel fear coming from you." My voice was huskier as my own emotions of desire were overtaking me. She snapped her eyes closed and again her emotions were cut off.

I gently traced her gorgeous face from her temple to her chin, "Talk to me Darling." Again I felt like I had been reduced to begging but I really did not mind. The woman in my arms was now my everything and all I wanted was for her to be happy.

After several deep breaths she opened her eyes and met mine, "I'm so sorry Jasper. I want you so very much but I would be lying if I said I was not afraid. I have maintained one thing since we parted four years ago and that is my innocence." Shit! She's still a virgin. Her eyes dropped from mine again and she pulled away from me completely. She stood up and turned her back to me.

"Bella, I will not rush you into anything. Obviously I did not know." I stood up as well and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you and I will wait until you are ready, okay?" I asked gently and placed a soft kiss on her neck.

She turned in my embrace and met my eyes again; I saw a brief flash of anger before she spoke. "It's not that I am looking to wait Jasper." Her anger left as fast as it came and her voice became very soft. "I just am concerned that I will not be enough for you, you are experienced and I am not." Her eyes again dropped from mine.

I pulled her closer to me and whispered in her ear, "Darling, you are so much more than I deserve. It is me that should be concerned. I love you." I again tried to send my move to her, along with my desire. I did not know if it was getting through but she wrapped her arms around me tighter.

We stayed in each other's arms for several minutes, neither of us speaking, just enjoying each other. Bella finally stepped back from me and gave me her breathtaking smile. She pulled me down and kissed me with enough passion to ignite the room. I eagerly met her kiss with just as much passion. Our tongues danced together, neither fighting for dominance.

After several minutes of passionate kisses she moved her lips to my jaw and started placing a line of kisses from my jaw down my neck. Each scar she crossed she kissed gently and continued her path of kisses. I could not help the moan that escaped as she kissed up to my ear. In barely a whisper across my ear I heard her, "Make love to me Jasper."

That was all it took. Again we were lying on the bed side by side. My hands gently explored her body as I kissed down her neck. Her hands traveled up and down my back before lifting my shirt. I immediately removed my shirt and her hands traced across my chest down my abdomen. She slowly traced every scar across my chest as I began to unbutton the shirt she was wearing.

I kissed down her neck and followed my hands as I slowly undid the last button of the shirt. It fell open and revealed her beauty to me. I placed soft loving kisses across her chest down her stomach and back up until again our lips collided in a searing kiss. I pulled her shirt off and traced down her back as she did the same to me.

Slowly I removed her shorts and was shocked that she was not wearing any panties. She was a sight to behold; the finest artist could not capture her beauty. Bella's hands traveled to the button of my jeans and snapped it open. She did not hesitate at the zipped and seconds later I was again laying beside her both of us now bare.

I kissed her softly and asked against her lips, "Are you sure Darling?" I had to make sure she would not regret this later. As soon as the question was out of my mouth I was again overwhelmed by her emotions. Desire and love rolled off of her. She simple nodded in response to my question.

I rolled her over and hovered above he. I ran my hand down her body and across her core. She was as ready for me as I was for her. I slowly joined our bodies as one, allowing her time to adjust. We made love for hours; never had I experienced pleasure to such an extreme. She was amazing every touch and kiss was perfect. Our bodies moved together unlike anything I had ever experienced.

We separated from each other when a knock came at the door. We both quickly dressed and went to the door hand in hand. I opened the door only to reveal Felix. I was quickly assaulted with his jealousy and desire for Bella. Before I could speak Bella did.

"What can we do for you Felix?" She questioned in a tone that was far from pleasant. She was as disappointed with the interruption as I was. Felix shot me a smirk and then grinned at Bella.

"Hello Miss Bella, it is so nice to see you again. You are very lovely." As he spoke and took in Bella his desire increased. He continued, "Aro would like to meet with you again this morning. They are waiting for you now." Again he smiled at her, completely ignoring my presence.

"Thank you Felix, Jasper and I will get changed and be there in a few moments." With that she shut the door on him and pulled back to her. She kissed me softly before heading over to the bag of clothing Heidi had brought for her. I had to control the laughter that was building in me. I could not believe she had just shut the door on him like that.

I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and watched Bella as she dressed in a pair of dark washed jeans and white tank top. She looked astounding. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you Bella." I could feel her happiness radiating from her. "I love you too Jasper."

With those simple words to each other we headed out of our room, it was no longer mine, it was ours. I led the way to the private chamber of the brothers and knocked on the door. Aro called for us to enter. I felt Bella tense as soon as she saw Caius but at least she was not growling at him this time.

Aro immediately started speaking when the door closed behind us. "Young ones, how nice to see you again today. I wanted to let you know that we will be having company next week. It would seem Carlisle is very interested in seeing you young Bella." Bella smiled at Aro before speaking.

"It will be very nice to see Carlisle again. It has been far too long. Thank you for the wonderful news." She was really very excited about seeing him again. Me I was feeling rather apprehensive. My curiosity was also peaked as to who would be joining him.

"Aro, did he indicate who else will be joining him?" I asked somewhat hesitantly. Aro looked at me and I knew the answer before he spoke. Concern radiated off of him, while disgust emanated from Caius.

"Yes, apparently the whole coven will be coming." Aro watched both of us carefully while I focused on Bella's emotions. Anger, disbelief, concern, love, and an array of other emotions ran through her. After a few seconds of silence Bella spoke again.

"Well this should be interesting. Thank you for letting us know. Was there anything else you needed?" Her tone was clipped. I squeezed her hand trying to capture her attention, but she ignored me as she awaited Aro's response.

"That was all. I just wanted to allow you two time to prepare for their arrival." Aro was truly concerned for both of us. While I nodded and went to turn Bella spoke again. "Thank you Aro, you have been very kind to me and I really do appreciate it." She gave him a warm smile before turning to the door.

We headed out of the chamber silently, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I headed towards the back gardens of the castle, hoping the fresh air would help to clear our minds. Just as we approached the exit Felix appeared twenty feet in front of us. Bella was immediately in a crouch, growling ferociously.

Three additional guard members appeared behind Felix, each of them staring at Bella. Lust was pouring from each of them but none as strong as Felix's. Shit, there was going to be a fight and we were outnumbered.

Before I could react Felix lunged at Bella. She immediately darted across gardens putting at least fifty feet between herself and Felix. He again rushed at her, this time she did not move away just as he reached her she spun and kicked him hard in the face. He flew backwards stunned at her reactions.

Apparently her training from her human life carried over to the life. The three additional guards readied themselves, two looking at me and the other sizing up Bella. Felix stood and spoke to Bella with venom in his voice, "That will be the only shot you get at me, Bitch. It is time you realize I get what I want." As soon as he stopped speaking he and the other guard lunged at Bella, while the other two came after me.

**Sorry for the cliffie!!!**

**Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

*****As usual I don't own the characters. Ms. Meyer does. *****

**Thank you all for your reviews, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter 13

Time seemed to slow as I easily defended myself against the two guardsmen. I kept Bella in my peripheral vision at all times. Luckily she was holding her own against Felix and the other one. The two I was facing were well trained and matched me move for move. My concern for Bella was becoming overwhelming even as I could still see her blocking and dodging the attacks coming at her.

My mind was racing as I continued to try to out maneuver my attackers and get to Bella. After several minutes of fighting I heard Bella unleash the most feral growl I have ever heard, followed by a scream of pain. Then everything stopped.

I looked around realizing I was not the only one frozen. Felix as well as the three other guards appeared to be unmoving as well. My eyes landed on Bella. I could see the rage in her eyes before she spoke.

"Felix, you bastard, first let me point out that your desire for me is disgusting. I am with Jasper, and only Jasper. You will never have me." My eyes darted to the entrance across from me as Aro and Demetri entered the gardens. Aro appeared amused, while Demetri dropped down into a crouch.

Bella turned her attention to Aro and spoke, "Really Aro your guard needs to learn some control. Felix is one stupid son of a bitch to attack us." Venom was dripping in her voice. She was still full of rage and we were still frozen in place. Aro seemed to be taking in the scene in front of him as Demetri slowly approached Bella.

Concern radiated from Demetri. He was ten feet away from Bella before he too appeared to be stuck in place. Obviously this was Bella's gift, although I was not sure what it was. I finally decided to speak, "Bella what is it that you are doing to us?" I tried to ask gently but my voice was rough. I did not like the idea of being defenseless.

She snapped her eyes to me and I could see the rage decrease slightly in her eyes. "I don't really know Jasper. All I know is Felix sunk his teeth into me and I lost it. All I wanted was for the fighting to stop and it did." Aro starting chuckling and her gaze immediately shifted back to him.

Aro was not looking at Bella but he was glaring at Felix. "Felix you fool, it seems as if you tried to target someone stronger and far more talented than you. You know that Jasper and Bella are together, why would you even attempt going after her?" Felix looked defiantly at Aro before speaking.

"No one turns me down and no one slams a door in my face." His voice was lethal. I watched as Bella glided over to him, as I felt absolutely helpless. She stood in front of him and stared at him for several minutes before speaking.

"You seem to have placed yourself on a pretty high pedestal. I must say I am very tempted to rip you apart and burn your disgusting pieces but I don't think Aro would like that very much. Seeing as I am his guest, your fate will lie in his hands." Then she slapped him across the face with all of her strength and turned back to Aro.

I heard his jaw crack when she slapped him. I was grinning at his discomfort. Really he should have realized she is a newborn and much, much stronger than him. My eyes shifted to Aro, knowing he held Felix in high regard.

Aro appeared amused by the altercation and met Bella's eyes. "Bella you certainly are a feisty one. Your gift is really rather amazing. I do wonder though, why have you not used it on me?" He asked and I could feel the curiosity flowing from him.

"Simple, you will not fight me. Also, I would rather not piss you off and have your entire guard attack me." She answered him in a tone that obviously meant this topic was closed. Aro chuckled again at her response, apparently amused at her directness.

"Yes, I suppose you are right. As for Felix, he is leaving today on a mission for me. He will not be back for several months. Hopefully in that time he will learn some self-control." Aro responded to Bella and I could feel a blast of respect and awe come from him towards her.

Bella nodded at Aro and turned her attention back to Felix. "If I release you will you behave?" She asked with anger still in her tone. Felix gave one quick nod and we all were free from her bonds. I raced to her side before anyone else could move.

She grabbed my hand as soon as I was at her side. Felix's emotions were all over the place but I could feel the hatred pouring from him relentlessly. His jaw was already healed. My eyes never left him as he stalked past us. In a voice to low for any of the others to hear he spoke, "This is not over you bitch."

With those parting words he was gone, the other three stood still as statues awaiting their punishment. Demetri approached us and stood on the other side of Bella. I could feel concern and affection streaming from him, but it somehow felt almost brotherly. Bella took his hand in her free one and my jealousy soared.

Aro looked at the three remaining guards, "You three will not go near Jasper or Bella again. She is a guest in our home and Jasper is a fellow guardsmen. If I discover you within thirty feet of either of them you will be destroyed. Understood?" They nodded in unison and darted back into the castle.

Aro returned his attention to us. "Young Bella, you are safe here. Felix will be in route to the airport within the next hour. I do apologize for his outlandish behavior." Bella nodded and gave him a weak smile before he continued. "Please let me know if you have any additional problems."

"Thank you Aro." Bella responded, all anger now gone from her voice. Aro bowed gently to us and departed, leaving Bella and I with Demetri. Demetri released her hand and turned to us.

"I am very sorry I was not here faster to assist you two. But I am curious Bella, why did you halt my progress to you?" I was shocked that he asked that question. It was obvious to me that she was unsure of his intentions.

She smiled at him before answering, "Demetri I knew you were not going to harm me, but I was unsure of what you would do to Felix. It is the same reason I stopped Jasper." I could feel his admiration for her increase. Again I fought to reign in my own jealousy. While I realized I had in fact misread her and her reaction to Demetri.

My emotions were getting the best of me rapidly and I found myself again sinking into despair at the thought of losing Bella. She had become my world and as I watched her interact with Demetri I realized she was far too good for me. They continued a conversation for several minutes but I was to consumed with my own thoughts to listen to what was being said.

I noticed Demetri exit the gardens as Bella turned back to me. I could see the concern in her eyes. Her emotions were again cut off from me but I could see most of them clearly in her eyes. Concern and love flashed in her eyes. She reached up to stroke my face but winced. Damn, I forgot he bit her.

"Bella where did he bite you darling?" She moved her tank top strap and I saw the crescent mark on her shoulder. That bastard. He marked my beautiful Bella forever. I gently traced the mark as she winced again. I knew all to well how much our venom burns.

Her eyes locked with mine, "It burns Jasper." I pulled her gently towards me and wrapped my arms around her. I kissed the bite mark softly before responding to her. "I know darling. It will stop soon." She simply nodded and laid her head against my chest. Seconds later I was again flooded with her emotions.

Love, happiness, pain, and more love. Feeling her love and happiness erased my earlier thoughts of losing her. She loved me as much as I loved her. She pulled back from me slightly and again met my eyes, "I love you Jasper." I moved to trap her lips with mine as I poured all of my love for her out so she could feel it.

Our kiss was full of passion and love. All to soon we were again interrupted. I felt the emotions coming our way before I saw their owner. Curiosity, hope and concern. Heidi came through the door seconds later and grinned at Bella and I. Bella returned her smile with one of her own and I smiled as well.

Heidi spoke quietly, "I heard what happened, are you two okay?" She was genuinely concerned for both of us. I nodded while still feeling slightly frustrated at the interruption. Bella and Heidi fell into an easy conversation while I basked in the warmth of Bella's emotions. Her pain had finally disappeared and all I could feel were love and happiness radiating from her. It was glorious.

After several hours Demetri returned to the gardens, but this time he was with Jane. Bella tensed when she saw her but relaxed almost immediately. Demetri again was emitting admiration, while Jane was only sending out waves of curiosity. Apparently news of the day's earlier events had traveled throughout the castle.

I watched them closely as they approached continually gauging Jane for any hostility. I never felt any. Jane spoke first, "Bella, I wanted to apologize for my earlier behavior towards you. I hope we can work together at some point. Your gift or rather gifts are very interesting and I am curious to find out if you can protect others as well as yourself." She was sincere and hopeful.

Bella smiled at her, "Thank you Jane. I look forward to working with you. Hopefully I can begin to understand what exactly my gift or rather gifts are." I realized in that moment that Bella was quickly winning the hearts of the ones I avoided for the past four years. She was so easy to love, as a sister, a friend and as my other half. The thought of her having multiple gifts was thrilling. She had already proven she was extremely gifted.

Conversations were easy amongst us after that; the women discussed so many topics I finally tuned them out. Demetri and I also fell into an easy conversation. Demetri surprised me again when he admitted easily the connection he felt to Bella, as a protector, like a big brother. He reminded me of Emmett and that made me think of the upcoming visit from the Cullen's.

We finally excused ourselves and I asked Bella if she would like to hunt again. She agreed quickly and we headed back out into the forest. After each of us taking down a couple of deer I decided I would bring up my concern regarding the Cullen's, Caius and Felix.

We were again sitting near the top of a large tree enjoying the darkness that began to settle over us. "Bella can we talk for a bit?" I asked and immediately felt her emotions withdraw from me.

"Of course Jasper." She smiled at me, but I could see the concern in her eyes. I was starting to regret my decision to discuss these things, but I proceeded anyway.

"I'm concerned about a few things. First the upcoming visit from the Cullen's." Her eyes shifted down and I could see her body tense. I continued, "I'm not sure what to expect from them. And I am not sure how I will react to them, to be honest." Her eyes again met mine.

"We are going to have to wait to see how they react to us. I have missed Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rose, but I do not know what to expect from Edward and Alice. I still have not forgiven Alice and I don't even know what to say about Edward." I grabbed her hand and rubbed my thumb across hers.

"I know darling. I am so angry with all of them still but especially Alice. But… I guess you are right, we will have to wait and see how they react to us." I leaned in and kissed her softly before I continued. "I'm also concerned about Caius and Felix. I don't understand Caius at all; he seems to absolutely hate you. And Felix's threat was very real. Because of those two I think we need to work hard to get your control perfected so we can get out of here."

She smiled and again opened her emotions to me. Love, happiness, hope, concern. "Where will we go?" She asked ignoring the rest of my statement.

"Anywhere you want darling." I pulled her with me out of the tree with me, wrapped her in my arms and kissed her with as much love and desire as I could. She eagerly responded to me as our concerns were forgotten as we became lost in each other again.

**Please review --- The Cullen's visit up next!**


	14. Chapter 14

**First, as always, Characters belong to SM.**

**I would like to thank everyone that has reviewed, alerted and favorited this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 14**

The days following our discussion of my concerns flew by. The past four years seemed to drag out, but the past week with Bella seemed to make time speed up. We spent our days training and developing her gifts. Our evenings were spent hunting, while our nights were spent making love.

If we did not have the upcoming visit hanging over us, our time together would be perfect. We did not discuss the Cullen visit again, but it never left my mind. Edward weighed heavily on my mind. His reaction to Bella would be predictable he would want her back. Hell who wouldn't want her, she was the most magnificent creature ever. Her mind, body and soul were perfect.

Alice also occupied my thoughts. So much of my being wanted to rip her to pieces for what she did to Bella. She was a monster in the truest sense of the word. She could have spared Bella so much heartache but opted not to. Bitch. She had to have known that Bella and I would be perfect for each other. Bella is the sun that broke through my dark clouds. I am certain she kept us apart intentionally.

As for the rest of the Cullen's, I did not know what to think. I loved Carlisle and Esme, as well as Rose and Em but they let me go and never tried to find me. Alice told me I was not strong enough, damn she was wrong yet again. I did miss the playful banter with Emmett and I definitely missed the dark humor of Rose. She and I were always the closest, she understood me on a completely different level than the rest of them.

So here I sit thinking of my old family, dreading tomorrow. While Bella is thirty feet in front of me easily fighting off three guard members. Whatever skills she developed in her human life seem to have crossed over to this life with more intensity. She is lethal. Three on one and they don't stand a chance. She isn't even using her gifts. Her body moves like a combination of a snake and lioness, while her strikes are like that of a shark.

I would be perfectly content to watch her for eternity. Every time she out maneuvers these trained guards my awe of her increases. The other inhabitants of the castle have found it just as thrilling to come and watch her train. She is intoxicating to watch and I can feel the awe and fear role from the other spectators.

I can't help the small chuckle that escapes me, as she seems to simultaneously take out the three of them. They are laying flat on their backs in less than a human heartbeat. As her latest three victims pick themselves up I watch as Jane and Demetri approach. I guess she is now going to practice perfecting her shields. Yes shields.

We discovered she can block both physical and mental attacks, but what's incredible is she can protect others just as easily. The only problem seems to be that as soon as her shield surrounds you, you are rendered motionless. We have been trying to develop the shield so it does not immobilize her allies.

Demetri, Jane and I spend hour's daily working with Bella to strengthen it. I approach the small group, preparing again to feel the pain that Jane inflicts without remorse. I know that Bella hates that Demetri and I suffer during these exercises, but we both take it without complaint. He cares for her like a big brother would care for a younger sister and I know he would give his own life to protect her just like I would.

Her love for him runs deep. She views him as a brother and friend. My jealousy of their relationship no longer rears its' ugly head, mostly because Bella's love for me pours from her constantly. Her love warms me from the inside and is like nothing I have ever felt before. Our love has no limits and only strengthens as each day passes.

I have been so consumed in my own thoughts that I did not even realize our session had started. Something is different this time. I can see Jane struggling to unleash her wrath on us, but Demetri and I are untouched. I bring the current situation to the forefront of my vast mind and take in what is occurring.

Yes. Bella figured out how to protect us without freezing us. I can feel the happiness radiating from her and I find myself basking in it. Instead of surrounding us with her shield, she wrapped it around Jane. Jane cannot force her gift upon us while surrounded by the shield.

I close the distance between Bella and I and capture her lips with mine. Pouring all of my love and happiness into our kiss. She eagerly responds and returns my love with her own. Jane is still locked in the shield and I can hear her cursing. I pull back from Bella and give her my warmest smile. Demetri is exuding relief and happiness, while Jane's frustration is pouring from her in tidal waves.

"Perhaps you should remove your shield from Jane?" I question Bella with amusement evident in my tone. Jane is immediately set free and starts laughing. Bella joins in the laughter. Their friendship is astonishing, Jane never befriended anyone before, but she really does view Bella as a friend, perhaps even a sister.

The remainder of our day passed as usual. We hunted for a few hours and returned to our room. We were both relaxing reading different books when a soft knock on the door brought us out of our relaxed states. I opened the door to reveal a somewhat uncertain looking Marcus.

"Hello Jasper and Bella. I do not mean to interrupt but I would like to discuss some things with you two." Bella stood and approached us apparently sensing he came to discuss something important. I felt his concern and apprehension warring within him.

Bella spoke, "Please come in." Offering a small smile to him. He visibly relaxed when she smiled. It was really amazing the effect she had on so many of the vampires here. Marcus and Aro adored her. Their love for her would compare to the love felt from a father to a daughter.

Marcus sat across from us in the large overstuffed chair, while we sat as close as possible to each other on the couch. He took several deep breaths and looked from me to Bella for several minutes before he started to speak. His emotions were all over the place, ranging from concern to love to bitterness.

He had our full attention as he began to speak, "I am concerned about tomorrow. Specifically I am concerned about Caius." Yes, Caius, we have avoided him for the past week. Marcus continued, "He has called Felix back from the mission Aro sent him on. He will be back early tomorrow morning." The growls that erupted from me were involuntary.

Bella placed her hand on mine and I instantly calmed. "I am not worried about Felix. I can handle him easily." Bella spoke with confidence oozing from her. She certainly could handle him, but that does not mean I like it. Marcus nodded but I knew there was more to this.

"Yes, Bella you can handle him without any assistance but that is not why I am concerned. You see Caius is trying to get everyone that dislikes you on his side. He knows how Aro and I feel about you and he hates you all the more for it." I interrupted him.

"Why does he hate Bella so much?" I was more than curious. His emotions shifted to reflect a bit of old sadness. His eyes portrayed the same emotion.

"Over three hundred years ago Caius met a human woman. He fell into a deep love with her nearly overnight. The bond between the two was amazing. The only other bond I have ever seen as strong is between the two of you." He again looked into each of our eyes. Bella smiled brightly, as did I, when he shared that with us. He nodded and continued.

"Anyways, they shared a whirlwind relationship. He wanted her for eternity and decided he would tell her what he was. At this point I had not shared with him the bond I saw between them. So one evening he took her for a walk and told her everything about us. She did not take it well. She called him a monster and murderer, amongst other things."

He was lost in the past has he continued. "His anger overtook him and he became the monster she feared. He killed her that night and has never been the same since. I believe she would have come to terms with the information if he had given her time. She loved him endlessly, just as he loved her." His eyes locked with Bella.

"You see Bella he hates you because you came into this world willingly. You have loved two of us and showed no fear of us. His love feared him and he killed her for it. Another thing is that you look a great deal like his beloved Lilith. He hates you for what he did and hates you for giving your love without fear of us." Bella's emotions shifted to deep sadness and I knew it was for Caius.

I had to bring us back to the present. "What does this have to do with tomorrow?" I questioned, although I had a feeling where this was going. Bella glanced at me before she again met Marcus' eyes.

"You see I think he is hoping that a fight will ensue tomorrow over Bella. Love is a funny thing. Edward loved you Bella. I could see the strength of his love for you. I must say that I also believe tomorrow will bring some sort of altercation between Edward and you Jasper." I took a deep breath.

Bella was tense, as she spoke, "That will not happen I will not allow them to fight over me. Edward left me, without looking back. He has no right to feel anything for me. He has Alice now." Her tone left no room for argument. She continued, "What does this have to do with Felix and Caius?"

Marcus gave a sad smile, "I believe Caius believes that he will be able to destroy you if you are distracted by Jasper and Edward." Bella openly laughed at that statement. I felt her amusement briefly before hr emotions again became a whirlwind.

"What is he stupid? Has he not watched any of my practice sessions? I could stop all of the guards in less time than a human breath." She was becoming angry and her tone was dripping with sarcasm and hate. I pulled her closer to me, in an effort to calm her without using my power.

Marcus answered after letting out a deep sigh, "I don't know about the stupid part but no he has not watched any of you practice sessions. He has no idea of how powerful you are. If he did he would not even think of crossing you. I am sorry for bringing more stress into your lives, I know tomorrow will be difficult for both of you." He stood and headed to the door.

Bella stood as well and followed him. "Thank you for your concern, Marcus. I do hope tomorrow goes better than we all are expecting." She gave him a brief hug and he left. I was still amazed at how affectionate she was with Marcus and Aro. They never showed affection to others like they did with her.

We briefly discussed what Marcus told us before we settled into each other's arms. Tomorrow would be stressful so we spent the night relaxing each other in ways I never knew existed. Her love consumed me as we prepared for the day ahead of us.

******

Here we stand in the throne room waiting for the Cullen's'. I can smell and hear their approach. I think if I could be physically ill I would be right now. The doors opened and the 'family' walked in. Carlisle quickly swept the room of vampires before his eyes landed on Bella.

A grin spread across his face as he stared into her eyes. I could feel his happiness and love flowing from him. His eyes shifted from her to me as his emotions shifted as well. Sorrow and love.

Aro broke the silence, "Welcome Carlisle. It is so good to see you and your coven again." Aro was sincere with his words. He did care a great deal for Carlisle. Carlisle looked at Aro as his smile left his face. Uncertainly was his dominant emotion.

"Hello Aro. You look well. It is good to see you again as well." Bella remained tense beside me as the two elders discussed trivial things. Finally their discussion turned to Bella.

"I believe you are here to check on Bella, correct?" Aro asked, already knowing the answer but bringing her to the forefront. Edward and Alice had yet to even look our way but immediately scanned the room for us. Fear and longing engulfed me as they looked upon us.

Edward was the first to snap, "What the hell? Carlisle what is this? Bella what the hell happened to you? Who did this to you? Why the hell are you holding hands with that bastard?" He fired questions off quickly as rage became his dominant emotion. He growled loudly and dropped into a crouch.

Bella stepped forward, releasing my hand. "Edward you have no right to ask such questions, however, I will answer them. First off obviously I am a vampire. As you recall an agreement was made with Aro that I would be changed, so therefore I came to him when I was ready."

Her confidence never wavered as she continued, "As far as who did this that is none of your damn business. You have no right to direct your anger towards Carlisle, he has supported me through horrors you could never understand. I am holding hands with Jasper because I love him and we are a couple." She waited for his response.

His rage dissipated as his longing for her increased. Damn it, I knew he would want her back. He left her to suffer so many losses and never did he try to return to her. Granted she was the one that ended the relationship but he was the idiot that tried to control her life and lost her love because of it.

He growled at me after listening to my thoughts. I crouched down prepared to defend myself from the selfish bastard. He stood from his crouch and glared at Bella for a minute before answering.

"What do you mean you love him? How could you love him, he tried to kill you." He actually believed that shit. He was truly a pompous ass. The entire room was silent watching the two of them. Demetri had silently moved behind the two of us as well as Jane.

She outright laughed at him. "Are still trying to convince me of that crap? I was there; it was you that lost control not Jasper. Stop lying to yourself and the rest of the family." She was disgusted with him I could feel it.

His desire for her was starting to consume him. It disgusted me, wasn't he supposed to marry Alice? Did he not get his happy ending? Why the hell did he have to come here and try to disrupt our lives? Asshole.

Alice stepped up next to Edward and took his hand in hers. He ripped his hand back from her and I felt her sadness. She felt no remorse when she looked at Bella. How could she not feel remorse, knowing all that Bella had suffered? My glare was now upon Alice \, as was Bella's.

"Bella it is so good to see you again." She spoke with sweetness but her emotions were ranging from jealousy to hatred. Bella did not respond for a few moments as her emotions shifted rapidly. After a few seconds her dominant emotions were rage and disgust.

"Alice I do wish I could respond in kind. However, we both know that I cannot. You betrayed me and because of you I lost my father and my best friend. You could have saved both of them; instead you decided to ignore your visions. I hope you rot in hell, you bitch." Venom dripped from her voice as her anger rose.

Alice dropped her eyes but she still felt no remorse. "I did what I needed to do. You still got you happy ending, how can you possibly be angry with me? Hell you got my husband out of it." Alice began to feel anger as well.

Bella snapped and roared her response, "HAPPY ENDING? MY DAD IS FUCKING DEAD! EVERYONE THAT GOT CLOSE TO ME IS NOW DEAD! I GOT YOU HUSBAND? YOU BITCH YOU KICKED HIM OUT. YOU GAVE HIM UP!" The rest of the Cullen's gasped at her statement. Shock radiated from them.

Carlisle stepped forward, "What do you mean she kicked him out? She told us that he left and wanted nothing to do with us." My own shock must have been evident on my face. What kind of sick game was she playing and how many did she hurt along the way?

Not even a second later Alice screamed at Bella. "You bitch. That was between him and I not you and the rest of the family." Then she lunged. Bella extended her shield to everyone in the room. We were all locked in place except her. Fear coursed throughout the room.

None of us had witnessed her shield to this degree. Bella did not move for several minutes. Finally after several deep breaths she released me, Demetri, Carlisle, Aro, Marcus, Jane, Emmett, Esme and Rose. Everyone else was frozen, staring wide-eyed at Bella.

She spoke with a calm voice, "You have now all witnessed what I can do. I could easily destroy you Alice but I still need the truth from you. Will you share or should Aro get it from you?" Alice's eyes widened further momentarily before she responded.

"I will tell you." She conceded quickly, fear evident in her voice. Bella nodded as she stepped back to my side and took my hand. So many emotions coursed through the room. Awe, fear, concern, love, hate, anger and jealousy. I was certain I would have a headache by the time the day came to an end.

Emmett raced to Bella's side as soon as Alice responded and embraced her in a bear hug. She hugged him back and kissed his cheek. He released her and turned to me. He looked into my eyes for the briefest part of a second before embracing me as well. I returned the gesture, feeling four years of sadness leave me as Rose stepped up as well and took his place.

We continued our brief greetings and hugs to Esme and Carlisle before we shifted our attention back to Alice. She refused to meet our eyes while we awaited her tale. Aro and Marcus approached our group as we watched Alice.

**Please review, more to come from the Cullen's. Especially Alice and Eddie.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you all for your reviews. I appreciate them all. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Also, I wanted to let everyone know that my other story – Time Continues On – has been nominated in the Indies Twific Awards in the category of Most Romantic Moment. Ok so I am shocked and humbled that someone nominated my story. So here is the link so if you want to vote, you can - **.com/

****As always, Ms. Meyer owns the characters.****

Chapter 15

Alice glanced briefly at me before looking at Bella. She took another breath before she spoke. "You were supposed to die. So many times you should have died but somehow you lived. The first time I saw you was when you decided to move to Forks. Your future was shifting rapidly."

She again glanced at me before continuing. "First I saw Edward kill you, then I saw him fall in love with you. Then Jasper protected you and you two fell in love. Everything was so uncertain. The only certain thing was the love between you and Jasper. So I forced a portion of my vision to come to the forefront of my mind when I was near Edward after he didn't kill you in class."

"I showed him he would love you. At the time I figured his control would slip and you would die. Instead he really fell for you and protected you fiercely. I knew you two were not meant to be. You and Jasper had a connection unlike anything I ever saw."

"I was jealous. You somehow had the love of everyone in the family without even trying. I really only wanted Edward, but I could not let you have Jasper. We are selfish creatures, and I did not think you deserved either of them. Then I was thrilled because of James I thought you would die but you didn't."

"Then the birthday party happened, of course I saw it beforehand but I was certain you would be removed from our lives after that. I told Jasper he was no longer welcomed in the family and I thought at the time it would change the future. I would have Edward and you would be without either of them. Well obviously that did not work out very well. I had to come back to you so you could save Edward."

"Then when you broke up with him I finally had my chance. I told you then that I loved him. And I do. It took me over a year to convince him that we were meant for each other. All the while I had to protect my mind from him so he would not see the things occurring in your life. I knew he would go back to you if he knew that Victoria returned."

"She was supposed to kill you, but again you survived. Then I thought for sure Irina would finally succeed where the others had failed. But no your stupid wolf friends had to interfere. So you lost your father to Victoria and your best friend to Irina. Part of me was happy because I figured it would finally be your undoing, but no you still came out on top."

"Then you move to England and meet some guy and find happiness again. I thought for sure the rouge vampire that killed him would have gotten you as well. But again you were untouched. You luck really was incredible."

"I saw your future shift from time to time but it always ended the same. You happy in Jaspers arms. You don't deserve him. You are a pathetic, useless bitch. You have the endless love of so many while I have had to struggle to even get the love of the one I need the most. You should be dead!" She finished her story with a growl. Hate and resentment flowed from her in strong waves.

Bella's pain was becoming unbearable as she took in Alice's words. Her pain washed over me in rapid waves and as it increased I could see her control slipping. Not even two seconds later her shield dropped and Alice lunged for her.

They crashed through the back wall of the castle in one swift movement. I immediately followed them out through the whole they created. They were now ten feet apart in the gardens growling fiercely at each other. The others followed me out and took in the scene in front of us.

I reached out and felt the emotional climate. Pain, concern, love, amusement, lust, hate and jealousy wrapped around me. My eyes never left Bella as Alice began speaking in a lethal tone. "You are still very young Bella, even though I can not see your future any longer I am still more experienced than you. If you can actually fight me without using your 'gift.'" She nearly spat the word gift. "You will go down you bitch."

Bella laughed at her before responding. "I don't need my gift to handle you. You have placed yourself on a pedestal that is about to be knocked from underneath you." With that the two lunged at each other. The first strike made by Bella knocked Alice backwards fifty feet. She quickly recovered and lunged again at Bella.

Faster than I could see, Bella had Alice by the throat on the ground. She leaned down and I thought she was going to rip her head off. Instead she whispered something into her ear. It was too low for any of us to hear but the fear rolling off of Alice was shocking. Bella then sat back up but did not release her.

In a voice that I barely recognized Bella spoke to Alice. "You have played a game with the destiny of many of us. I have lost so very much because of you and your twisted visions of the future. I loved you as a sister and you betrayed me time and again. I should kill you; you certainly do not deserve to live. However, I know Edward loves you and I do not want to cause him any additional pain. I believe you and he have a long way to go before he will even consider forgiving you."

She glanced back at Edward and he nodded so she continued. "You lied to the family that trusted you and your vision. You have caused each of them varying levels of hurt. But you have caused the most pain to Jasper. He loved you endlessly and you betrayed that. You took advantage of him and threw his love in his face. You lied to him and took away the family he loved." Her anger was escalated, but I knew she was far from done.

"You are the most selfish creature I have ever met. You deserve to rot in the pits of hell. But for now you will suffer differently." She bent down and sunk her teeth into Alice's neck pushing as much venom into the wound that she could. Alice let out a gut-wrenching scream but I felt no pity for her, she deserved far worse.

A moment later Bella jumped up from her and projected her shield again. This time only Alice was frozen. Bella glared at Alice before she spoke again. "You will stay this way until I feel like releasing you, you will suffer the pain of my venom burning you without anyone to console you. She turned her back on Alice and floated to my side.

I wrapped her in my arms as her emotions flooded me. Love, sadness, regret, sorrow and pain. Edward stepped forward and looked at me then at Bella before he spoke. "I am sorry for all of this. I had no idea she was hiding so much from me. Bella I am so very sorry for everything you have endured and Jasper I am sorry that I believed Alice when she said you left the family."

His emotions reflected his sincerity but there was still an overwhelming amount of desire mixed in as he looked at Bella. A growl erupted from my chest as his desire increased. "Edward, while you may have meant your words, the desire you feel for Bella is inappropriate." I spoke softly but my voice was laced with venom. He took a step back before responding, looking directly into my eyes.

"I cannot help the way I feel. She is breathtaking and I would be lying if I said I did not want her. She was mine first and I was foolish enough to screw that up and refuse to change her. She obviously loves you and you love her but that does not change the way I feel about her." Bella's emotions shifted to rage as she listened to Edward.

She met his eyes and growled. "I do not belong to anyone. Yes you were foolish and yes I did love you. I suggest you keep you feelings in check because you lost the right to feel that way towards me. Furthermore, don't you dare speak as if I am not present." She was pissed and if he didn't back of quick she was going to rip him apart.

"When did you turn into such a bitch Bella? You were always so forgiving and selfless. Is this the effect Jasper has on you?" He really shouldn't have said that. The rage consumed Bella as she stepped from my embrace and growled at him.

"You bastard. You have no idea what I have been through. Jasper has taught me to love and trust again." No further words escaped her as she lunged at him. He blocked her initial attack but she was fast and turned towards him again. He crouched down preparing to meet her next attack head on. She lunged again but this time she shifted mid attack and landed a hard kick into his side. He was sprawled out on the ground glaring up at her.

She was spitting venom as she began speaking again. "You deserve Alice. You both think you are better than everyone else. I would suggest you steer clear of me while you are here." With that she turned back to me and the rest of the group. Emmett was the first to approach her.

"You are one heck of a bad ass baby sister." He said to her with a warm smile on his face. She closed the distance between them and wrapped him in a tight embrace. She kissed his cheek and gave him another bright smile before speaking.

"You should come practice with me tomorrow. You will enjoy yourself, I am sure." He was smiling like a fool at her and nodded eagerly. The rest of the group quickly dispersed, leaving the Cullen's, Aro, Demetri and Bella and I alone. Aro broke into the conversation.

"Bella are you okay?" He asked her genuinely. She smiled at him and nodded. "I am fine Aro. I do apologize for the scene, as well as the whole in the wall." Her eyes looked up at the whole she and Alice made and shook her head.

"No worries dear. It will give Felix something to do. Seeing as Caius felt the need to call him back I will put him to work." He smiled at her again and gave the rest of us a quick nod and departed. Demetri stayed and I felt his protectiveness flare as he looked at each of the Cullens' then to Bella.

Bella began speaking with Carlisle and Esme and I joined in a friendly banter with Emmett and Rose. We discussed the local wildlife and they were both filled with pride and love that I stuck to their diet. Esme's tone caught my attention as well as Emmett's and Rose's.

"They are no longer part of our family. I can not find it in myself to believe Edward knew nothing of the events that occurred in your life or Jaspers." She was hurt and angry and her tone reflected as much. We stepped closer to their group so we could take part in the conversation.

"Esme, I understand you are disappointed right now but don't make a rash decision." Bella requested with her own amount of concern. I knew she wanted no further pain to befall the family she loved so very much. Edward was sitting beside Alice, unable to comfort her due to Bella's shield.

Alice was still whimpering as the venom continued to burn but I still could not find an ounce of pity in myself for her. She deserved to die because the pain she caused Bella. Edward was looking at Esme as his emotions shifted to shock at her words. He stood and approached our group.

Demetri let a warning growl but Bella and I only watched as he approached. He spoke looking only at Esme, "You do not consider us family any longer? And you don't believe me? How could you choose these two over us? We have protected you and help to guide this family." His words were barely a whisper as his shock turned to pain.

Esme did not drop her eyes from his as she responded. " No I do not believe you. Perhaps when we are with Aro again he can inform me of the truth. He will know if you knew or not. As far as choosing them over you two, there was no choice. I lost them once because of you two and I will not lose them again. You have not protected us, you have controlled us and made us all puppets in your twisted show."

Her emotions were full of pain and sadness but also love and joy. She was having an internal battle. Her love was pure for all of us but her disappointment in Alice and Edward was currently controlling her choices.

Carlisle opted to step in at this point. "Edward perhaps time will heal some of this, but not all of it. Bella has always been part of our family and had I known the truth about Jasper I would have personally come here and dragged him home to us." His words warmed me and I felt all of his love for Bella and I.

Edward nodded and returned to Alice. Bella turned and looked at him briefly before dropping the shield from Alice. She met Alice's eyes and spoke. "Do not push me again. If you do, I will not hesitate to rip you apart." Her voice was level but threat was real. Alice nodded at her and pulled Edward towards the exit.

The remainder of the day was spent catching up with each other. Bella spent nearly an hour explaining her gifts to Carlisle. He was so impressed it nearly made me laugh. Although she did catch me by surprise as she explained how she could sense if someone intended to cause her harm. She was having difficulty explaining it but I now understood why she reacted the way she did with Caius and Felix.

All too soon twilight began to settle over us. Bella invited them to hunt with us and of course Emmett was thrilled and eagerly agreed. Carlisle and Esme declined, wanting to spend some time together discussing the day's events. So Rose, Emmett, Bella and I headed out towards the forest to enjoy a good hunt.

Part of me still felt like something bad was coming our way. My mind drifted to Felix and Caius as well as Alice and Edward. I knew our happiness was going to face more hardship before we could live in peace. I just had to hope that our love was strong enough to endure it. I swept those thoughts to the back of my mind and refocused on the present.

*****OK so Bella did not kill Alice… But please don't be too disappointed more twists to come.**

**Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

******SM owns the characters.*****

**Thank you all for your reviews.**

Chapter 16

Hunting with Emmett was still as entertaining as it was years ago. He always played with his prey before he fed, it was comical to watch. Rose and Bella were several hundred yards south of us hunting a herd of deer. Emmett and I were perched up in a tree listening to the women hunt and enjoying the beauty of the forest.

Emmett broke the silence around us. "Jasper I want to apologize for everything that happened. We had no idea Alice told you to leave. She was very convincing when she said you were the one that left and wanted nothing to do with us." It was rare for Em to be so serious but he was. His emotions reflected the sincerity of his words.

"Emmett I understand. Alice spent many years deceiving all of us. She is very good at telling lies." I really did not want to dwell on the past; I needed all of us to look to the future. He nodded and returned his gaze to the forest.

Several minutes past before he spoke again. "I'm happy for you and Bells, you both seem to found what you needed in each other. Just don't hurt her man. She has been through enough." His concern for Bella was genuine but his words offended me slightly.

"Do you really think I would ever do anything to hurt her? When she told me what she has endured these past four years it nearly killed me. She is amazing and I would give my own life to protect her." My tone was a little harsher then I intended but he pissed me off.

"No I don't think you will hurt her. But I had to say it, she is a sister to me and I love her dearly." He was serious and he meant his words as a warning. I understood the protectiveness he felt towards her; hell most of us felt that way. I nodded to him in understanding. Yes he would definitely destroy me if I ever did anything to hurt her.

The conversation turned to light topics and soon we were back to senseless banter. Time passed quickly as we joked with each other and simply enjoyed each other's company. The ladies joined us after they finished their hunt. It was nice to be with Rose and Em again, I felt like I had a piece of me back.

Were Bella filled me with love of a partner, I still missed the love and kinship of the family. Again I found hope surge through me as I watched them joke with each other. They were still family and they loved Bella and me endlessly. Perhaps we could have our happy ending with the family as well.

After several hours we returned to the castle. Rose dragged Bella away from me, wanting to spend some time with her so they could discuss female things. I felt Bella's apprehension but I also felt her joy as Rose accepted her back so easily. I kissed her softly as Rose pulled her down the hall.

Em and I headed to one of the lounge rooms, joking and teasing each other along the way. Unfortunately the mood immediately dropped as we crossed the threshold of the room. Edward and Carlisle were in the room, as well as Felix. Shit.

All eyes shifted to us as we entered and the room became deathly quiet. Emmett of course broke the awkward silence. "Carlisle you should have come with us to hunt. Watching Bella was great. She looked like she has been hunting for decades not days. She was incredible." I didn't realize he had paid that much attention to her. But she was hard to miss when she hunted. I replayed in mind our hunting trips together and felt a surge of jealousy it me.

Carlisle chuckled softly at Emmett's excitement before responding. "Well I look forward to joining her next time." Edward was glaring at me, as his jealousy washed over me in waves. My thoughts drifted to our kisses and our declarations of love. Yes I was trying to piss him off but he needed to see what he lost.

A low growl erupted from him as my mental images continued. Finally he spoke, hate evident in his tone. "Jasper I do not understand how she can love you. You are a monster in the truest sense of the word. You killed so many and on top of that look at you. You are covered with scars. You are a freak amongst us. You don't deserve her. What did you do, use your 'gift' to force her to want you?"

His words hurt on so many levels. Yes his accusation pissed me off, but I myself do not understand why she loves me. My past is awful, my body is imperfect. I am deeply flawed. And he is correct, I don't deserve her. No one deserves her, she is in a class all her own.

Carlisle responded to Edward's harsh words. "Edward that is enough. You have no right to say such things. Jasper is loyal and his love for Bella is evident as is hers for him. You know as well as I do that he would never use his gift that way." Carlisle was fuming. Not only was he standing up for me, but he is defending Bella. Damn, I really missed this family.

I broke in after he stopped speaking. "Edward you are in no position to judge Bella or me. Our love is pure. She chose me, simple as that. You have your mate now, so leave mine alone." Although my tone was strong my own self-doubt lingered in the back of my mind.

Felix glared at me and I felt his hatred and jealousy surge from him. I glanced at him briefly before sending a large wave of calm over the room. The emotional climate was becoming too much for me. Carlisle sent a wave of appreciation to me. I gave him a quick nod.

Felix stalked past us but stopped at the door and turned to me. "Don't forget what I said before. It is not over." With that he was gone. Emmett was confused but also feeling very defensive. It was easy to see Felix and I had an unpleasant history.

Edward looked at me again, he seemed to be waging some sort of internal battle. Finally he spoke. "His thoughts are disgusting. He wants nothing more than to destroy you and take Bella as his own." A growl erupted from me. He would not get near Bella. Edward nodded in agreement with my thoughts.

Emmett mirrored my thoughts when he spoke. "Well I guess we need to work on getting you two out of this damn place before he can do anything. He will not touch her." He was immediately in big protective brother mode. Carlisle's emotions were shifting rapidly from concern to protectiveness to love to anger.

I responded to Emmett. "I agree with you one hundred percent. I already told Bella we needed to leave here as soon as possible. Her control is getting better everyday but she is not safe to humans yet. She does not want to slip and I will not allow her to. She will not ever have to suffer the shame of ending a human life if I can help it." Pride radiated from Carlisle as I finished my statement. Emmett nodded in understanding and Edward was to emotionally conflicted to even respond.

Carlisle asked the question I was dreading. "Were do you plan on going once her control is not an issue?" He was concerned as well as hesitant, but there was a small flicker of hope in him. Emmett was curious as well as hopeful. Again Edward was too conflicted to read his emotions.

"I told her we could go anywhere she wanted to." It was my honest answer but I know it was not the answer he wanted. His desire is to have her with them. But we are a package deal and I am not sure I can ever return to the Cullen family.

"Just please know you are both always welcome to join us again. Words cannot express the sorrow Esme and I feel for believing Alice when she told us you wanted nothing to do with us. I should have known better. Hell I should have tracked you down and spoke to you about it. We always trusted her and now know we never should have." Sadness was evident in his voice.

"Carlisle, as I told Emmett, she is a master of lies and deceit. I don't understand so many things that occurred with her. If she wanted Edward, why did she stay with me for so many years? Why didn't she just go after him to begin with? I find it all very confusing." I voiced the questions I had been thinking since earlier today.

Edward answered again. "I asked her the same things. She told me that for many years she was torn. She had feelings for you but never love. With me she felt love but never desire. She said that she spent many years confused but then visions of Bella plagued her and she became jealous. She did not want her to have either of us. She wanted both of us to herself."

He took a breath and continued. "She didn't understand how one human could change all of our lives so drastically. She decided to befriend her in an effort to understand but also to keep her away from you. Then she realized that I needed to fall for Bella in order to ever love her. She said I was emotionally immature before Bella and that was why she never felt desire for me. She said I needed to experience love and loss before we could be together." His emotions were still a mess but the sadness in his voice was very clear.

He continued, "I think she was correct in that regard. I was not prepared to feel love and desire. I never knew it before Bella and then when she left me I changed. I understood everything I did wrong with her and promised myself to never be that way again. I knew it was too late for Bella and I but I hoped that I would find that kind of love again. I did with Alice, but now I don't know what to think or feel."

I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Alice had played him as well as Bella and I. I could feel the love he felt for her but I also felt the betrayal and confusion swirl in him. He had some difficult decisions to make and I did not envy him. Alice proved today how incredibly selfish she is.

None of us spoke for several minutes but finally Carlisle broke the silence. "We need to get past all of this somehow. Jasper I know that you and Bella will never forgive Alice. Believe me I don't think Esme will ever forgive her, but eternity is a long time. I know that I want nothing more than for all of us to find some kind of common ground and rebuild our family. And our family is not complete without you and Bella."

I did not have an opportunity to respond because Bella, Esme and Rose entered the room. Bella tensed briefly when she saw Edward but relaxed seconds later. She glided to my side and took my hand in hers. She placed a soft kiss on my lips before turning to everyone else.

"Aro would like to see all of us again in a hour." She shifted her eyes to Edward and continued. "Edward I suggest you go find Alice, as she is expected as well." Edward nodded and darted out of the room. "I sure as hell hope this meeting goes better than the last." Bella stated with humor in her voice. The rest of us chuckled at her attempt at a joke. But the atmosphere did become lighter and conversations came easy for the next hour.

**AN – This is somewhat short but it is kind of a filler chapter setting up for the next one.**


	17. Chapter 17

*****I do not own the characters… They are Ms. Meyer's ******

**I am so very sorry for the delay in updating. I had a bit of writer's block and could not decide how this story was going to go… I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review and thank you to everyone that has reviewed, I appreciate them all!**

**Chapter 17**

We again headed to the throne room to meet with Aro, not one of us aware of his intentions. Bella knocked lightly on the door before entering. I glanced around the room as we entered. Alice and Edward were already standing in front of the brothers, while Demetri stood off to one side and Felix across the room on the other side. The tension in the air was nearly visible.

Bella and I approached Aro, while the remaining Cullens' stayed back. Aro looked at us briefly before speaking to all of us. "I have asked you all to return so I can get the full story from Alice and Edward. I read Alice's thoughts before your arrival and what she told all of you was the truth. She is truly on the most selfish creatures I have ever met. She has used her gift to alter each of you lives to her desire."

He paused for what I am sure he deemed a dramatic effect before continuing. "While Alice's actions were indeed selfish and hateful in some cases, in many others she did save your lives." He looked directly at Edward as he continued. "She loves you unconditionally and her fear of a life without you is very real." Edward nodded. I focused on the emotions in the room for a moment.

Bella, love, hope, sadness, pity and anger were spinning through her at an alarming rate. Aro, amusement and concern were really the only two emotions coming from him. Marcus was concerned as well. Demetri was causing my own concern to rise; his emotions were almost as scattered as Bella's. He cared for her as a sister and wanted nothing more than to protect her. He loved her and hated seeing the pain flash through her eyes.

Edward seemed to be so lost in his own thoughts that his emotions were not even defining themselves before changing. Carlisle and Esme were predictable as always, love and concern for their children. They loved each of us; regardless of the current situation their love was unbreakable, as well as their hope. Emmett and Rose mirrored Aro except they had an enormous amount of love flowing from them as well.

My ex-wife, Alice, fear, guilt, sorrow and love swirled around her, one emotion never out-weighing the other. Felix and Caius were the two I remained concerned about; hate was the only emotion I felt from each of them. Their hate was so strong I knew it would erupt at any time.

Aro continued speaking to Edward. "May I have your hand so I can verify your role in this mess?" He questioned and again Edward only nodded. Aro took his hand without hesitation and read his memories. No sound passed through the room as the exchange continued. Finally after several minutes Aro released his hand and stepped back.

He addressed us all again. "Edward had no knowledge of the events that occurred. While I find the whole family dynamic you have interesting it certainly allows for a great deal of drama. As a family your history together is remarkable. I am certain it will take a very long time to forgive Alice, I do hope for each of you that you will be able to in time." His eyes shifted to Bella and me.

"Jasper and Bella, while you two are welcomed to stay with us for as long as you wish, I know that neither of you wish to stay with the guard. Bella I guaranteed you a safe place for your transition and obviously I have not been able to maintain my part of the agreement. I do apologize for the actions of a few of us." Bella smiled warmly at him before responding.

"Aro, thank you for offering us a place to stay as I adjust to this life. You are correct that neither Jasper nor I desire a place in the guard. I'm not even sure what to say when it comes to the reaction I have received from some here, other than I hope that no further incidents will occur. I can not promise that another attack against me or the ones I love will not end with the demise of the attacker." She was very sincere as she spoke but the truth in her words actually sent a shiver down my spine.

Yes Bella would not tolerate another attack. While her control as a newborn was remarkable, it should not be pushed. I again focused on Felix and Caius but before I could get a good read on either of them a ferocious growl echoed throughout the room. Edward lunged at Caius as Bella charged Felix. Holy Shit!

Everything occurred so quickly as I watched Bella pin Felix to the floor and Edward pull Caius towards them. The growls coming from the four were deafening. I was momentarily too shocked to assist either of them but Emmett and Demetri darted to Bella's side. While Carlisle, Alice and Esme flanked Edward. I raced to Bella in the next heartbeat followed by Aro and Marcus.

Aro roared over the growls, "What the hell is going on?" Edward spoke as it was apparent Bella was quickly losing all shreds of humanity she may have retained. Her emotions were now unreadable; she was becoming the monster within her. The only thing that would cause such a drastic downturn in her emotional state is self-preservation. It seemed in her current state her gifts were no longer functional. She was fighting Felix with pure strength and skill at this point.

"These two planned on destroying Jasper and then destroying Bella. They were going to take him out as soon as we turned our backs to exit. I have no idea how Bella new what they were planning but that was their intentions." As he spoke venom dripped from his mouth. Pure anger and protectiveness radiated from him. Aro cautiously approached Caius and crouched down to touch his hand. Not even a minute later Aro stood up and shock his head. Disgust radiated from him.

"I do not understand the hate you two have for the young own, but your actions will not be tolerated." Before he could even finish speaking an agonized scream erupted from Bella. Felix had somehow broken free of her grasp and sunk his teeth into her abdomen. I reacted faster than even I knew possible. I had the bastards' head in my hands and twisted it off.

Emmett and Demetri finished shredding him as I cradled Bella in my arms. She no longer had any control of herself. She was shaking violently in my arms as a low growl continued to flow from her. Carlisle approached slowly to examine the wound she received. Venom was seeping from it at an alarming rate. The asshole had sunk his teeth into her deep.

My attention was so focused on Bella that I missed the removal of Felix's body parts from the room. Edward still had Caius pinned to the floor. Fear flowed freely from him now, all the hate gone. I continued sent wave after wave of calm and strength to Bella as her growls continued to fill the room.

Aro again spoke, "Caius, today you choose you fate." Caius' eyes widened before he responded. "I do not wish to die. Would you really choose them over me?" He asked although he already knew the answer. I watched as Edward relaxed his grip on his throat and then completely released him. Apparently his thoughts were no longer threatening.

Everyone else was again standing but sides were clearly defined. Everyone apart from Aro, Marcus and Caius stood beside Bella and I. She was still growling softly with her head tucked under my chin. The wound she received was still seeping badly but it appeared to be slowly fusing. I still could not feel any emotions coming from her and her eyes were closed tight.

My concern for her was making it difficult to continue sending calm and strength to her. A silent exchange was occurring between the brothers but Edward was relatively calm, so I figured the conversation was going well. Alice glanced at me briefly and I was hit with a strong wave of sadness, sorrow and love from her. I stood with Bella in my arms and interrupted the exchange occurring ten feet from me.

"I am taking Bella back to our room. Please give us privacy." My words were for everyone in the room. With that I turned and quickly left the room. A minute later we were back in our room. I laid Bella down on the bed, but when I tried to remove my arms from around her she whimpered. The sound was so incredibly heart breaking. She was trapped somewhere else in her mind and I had to find a way to bring her back to me.

I laid down next to her and spoke softly into her ear. I spent the next two hours repeating over and over my love for her. I told her of the future I pictured for us. I told her how much I needed her and how she altered me completely. I explained how she saved me from myself and showed me how to feel hope and love again. I begged her to not give up.

Finally the growls stopped and her eyes snapped open. She looked into my eyes and for the first time since she re-entered my life I felt like my world was destroyed. Gone was the love and trust, they were replaced by fear and anger. She was a newborn vampire and she was lethal in her current state.

I did not remove my eyes from hers but I did inch back from her to give her some space. She still had yet to take a breath, and I still could not feel any emotion from her. It was like she was empty inside and it scared the shit out of me. Minutes past as she continued to stare at me, never blinking and never breathing.

Finally I could take no more and broke the silence. "Bella?" One word was all it took for her to launch herself from the bed and crouch ready to attack. I sat up slowly, never removing my eyes from hers. "Bella, darlin, I'm not going to hurt you. I love you." She did not move, nor did she remove her eyes from me. She appeared lost and terrified and I was helpless at the moment.

After another agonizing hour she stood from her crouch and took a deep breath. I moved slightly and she again began growling. Her growl was frightening. In all my years dealing with newborns I had never heard a sound like what was now coming from the woman I loved. I began sending waves of calm and love to her, trying to bring her back to me. Her growls quieted but did not stop.

I slowly stood up from the bed and took a small step towards her. She watched me with fear evident in her eyes, but there was something else as well, but I could not place it. After several more cautious steps I was only two feet from her. I reached out to her and gently traced along her cheek with one finger, slowly descending to her jaw and back up. Her growl changed to a purr as she leaned into my hand and closed her eyes again. She took several deep breaths before opening her eyes again.

"Jasper." She breathed out, it sounded like a prayer as she said it. Without hesitation I pulled her into my arms and kissed every part of her face I could reach. Finally she tilted her head slightly and our lips met. As I kissed her I sent every bit of love I felt for her out of my body. I was certain all of Volterra could feel it. She deepened the kiss and as our tongues met I was hit with all of her emotions. Love, desire, fear, confusion and sadness all poured from her.

Our kiss continued for several minutes before I pulled back from her. I needed to see if my Bella was back. Her eyes met mine and I could again see the love and trust in them. The light in her eyes that earlier was missing had returned. Relief flooded through me as I again pulled her to me for another kiss. This one full of passion and love, I held nothing back as I projected my feelings to her.

I whispered across her lips, "I love you Bella." She smiled against my lips and pulled back from me. "As I love you Jasper." She placed her head against my chest as I wrapped her tightly in my arms. We held each other for an immeasurable amount of time before she spoke again.

"I am so sorry." I was thoroughly confused, what the hell was she apologizing for? "What are you sorry for, darlin? You did nothing wrong." She stepped back from me and moved to the bed. Her emotions were again a whirlwind, while love was a predominant one; others concerned me, anguish, remorse, fear, and defeat.

She sat down on the bed and looked down at the floor. She began speaking in barely a whisper. "Jasper, I don't know what happened. But my mind completely shut down the present. I went back and relived every terrible thing that happened in my life. I saw everyone I ever cared for die, all because of me. I can not expect you to stay with me knowing that everything I touch ends up being destroyed." What? Was she serious?

Before I could even respond she continued, this time looking up to meet my eyes, "Not even expect, I cannot allow you to stay in my life. I love you so much it hurts, but I can't risk your life for my own selfish reasons. You need to go back to the Cullens' and live your life free of me." Again she dropped her eyes from mine but the pain coming from her was strong enough to send me to my knees.

My own pain mixed with hers finally did make me drop to the floor. I shut myself off from her and pulled myself back up. Anger and shock warred within me and I knew the anger would eventually win. I had to get out of here before I did something I would regret. Without a look back at her I darted from the room.

My only thoughts were escape from the pain and anger. I charged out of the castle and into the dense forest. My anger would be taken out on any and every animal that crossed my path. My pain was inescapable. I took down several animals before finally climbing to the top of one of the largest trees. The night was clear and the stars littered the sky.

I sat motionless staring at the endless depths of the night sky as the pain washed through me. She did not want me, whatever her reason, it still ended up at the same conclusion, she did not want me. Any hope I had felt over the past weeks was gone. I was again hopeless, drifting in a sea of despair. I had nowhere to go and no one that wanted me.

I am a monster and never deserved her love. I am unworthy. I again wish for death but know that it will not come. I am stuck in this world, never to love, never to laugh again and never to feel hope. I will never open my heart to love again, it is too painful. From this point forward I will again be the heartless bastard I was with Maria. Today any humanity left within me died with her not wanting me.

Emotional, easy to hurt Jasper is gone. Heartless Jasper is back, for good this time. The pain again washed over me but this time it was not mine alone.

I have company.

**Please review**** I am going to try really hard to update again real soon!!!**


	18. Chapter 18

*****SM owns the characters*****

**So, so sorry for the delay in updating but I was not sure where I wanted to go with the story, but alas I find it coming to an end.  
**

**Chapter 18**

I watched for the appearance of my company. The emotions coming from the person approaching me were very powerful, anguish, hope, love, fear and a vast amount of others. Finally I saw who my companion was. Carlisle.

He scaled the tree in seconds and took a seat across from me. His eyes reflected the emotions that raced through him. He held my gaze for several minutes before finally speaking. His voice was low but full of conviction.

"Jasper, Bella needs you. She is lost within herself. Whatever snapped in her today, returned her to a time of immense sorrow and pain. I do not know what transpired between the two of you but she keeps repeating over and over that you are gone." His voice by the end of his speech was merely a whisper and his emotions reflected deep concern.

As much as I wanted to race to Bella and proclaim my undying love to her, I couldn't. The Jasper that lived based on his own emotions was gone. A heartless bastard was all that remained. I steeled myself before responding, my voice cold and uncaring.

"Bella does not need or want me. Take her with you when you leave. I do not belong with her or any of your family." Yes I really was a heartless bastard with no hope of returning to my former self. Carlisle was shocked his emotions and face showed his shock. As my words sunk in he began shaking his head, ready to disagree with me, but I stopped him.

"Let me rephrase just so it is clear for everyone. I do not want her and I certainly do not need anyone in your family. My life is here. I will return to Volterra after you all leave. I am done dealing with this emotional shit." At that I leaped from the tree and darted deeper into the forest. I was flying through the trees, escaping the pain and the life I could not have.

Weeks passed, but I remained hidden deep in the forest, occasionally I would hear others approaching but I avoided everyone that approached. Only once did I catch Bella's scent, only once did she come looking for me before giving up on me. I was a hopeless monster. I neither desired nor deserved love. Love and hope only lead to pain and disappointment. Hate is a good emotion to carry, I hate everyone and everything.

Finally after several more weeks the searches stopped and I finally felt that I could return to the castle, certain they had all left. I returned unnoticed to my room. The scent of Bella assaulted my senses and threatened to crack the walls I built around myself. No. I would not ever allow myself to feel the pain and loss again. I am a heartless bastard, nothing more.

I traveled throughout the castle, ensuring that all of the Cullen's had left. They had. I passed Aro's personal chamber and overheard him on the telephone. "No Carlisle I have not seen him yet. He is still somewhere out in the forest. As soon as he returns I will let you know." There was a pause before he continued. "How is Bella? We all miss her very much." Again a paused as Carlisle responded, how I wish I could hear what he said. Aro emotions went from curious and concerned to frustrated, saddened, hopeless and disappointed in a blink of an eye. What happened? Was she all right? I could listen no more. I turned and darted back to my room.

Weeks turned to months as I escaped deeper into myself. Everything that was once vibrant to my eyes was now dull. Nothing held any meaning. Life had no meaning without Bella and I had no life now. Hope what a foolish word, only fools hope and I am no fool. I did not leave my room for months, not even to feed, why bother? Perhaps it is possible to die from lack of feeding.

Aro visited frequently, every visit was the same. Please Jasper you must go to her. She is lost without you, just as you are lost without her. Fuck that. She does not want me. I do not need her. I never responded with words only shook my head no. He would continue our one sided conversation by sharing with me details of his weekly conversations with Carlisle.

Apparently she had stopped speaking as well. She remained in her room just as I remained in mine. The family was falling apart. Carlisle and Esme were trying to be strong but were quickly losing hope as well. Alice had left the family shortly after their return to Canada. She apparently told the family she had to come to terms with her actions and find her future. Whatever, she deserved to suffer.

Edward had tried to help Bella and tried to make her see that he still loves her but she wants nothing to do with him. Like I really give a shit… Emmett and Rose tried to be supportive but finally could no longer take the sadness that seeped from her and left to spend some time alone.

More months passed, Aro visited every week and updated me ion what was happening with the Cullens. Edward finally gave up on Bella and went to track down Alice to see if they really did love each other. They can both burn in hell as far as I am concerned. Em and Rose returned to the family but little has changed. Bella only leaves her room to hunt and still refuses to speak to anyone.

I am the same, I hunt when absolutely necessary but other than that I stay in my room. I again wish for death to find me but alas I remain in this useless state. Bitter and full of hate. It seems time has sped up; two years have passed by me. Aro has not visited in several weeks but I find I really do not give a shit. My self-torture is endless; I had finally found a great love and let her go. I did not fight for her, instead I ran from her. She deserves so much more.

She deserves the world not a selfish bastard like me. The hope I can find in myself is for her. I hope she finds her happy ending no one deserves it more than her. No one. Bella deserves to find her great love and more than anything she deserves an eternity filled with happiness, filled with hope.

She was but a candle in my life, so bright when in sight but the wick was short and the light burnt out. While I drown in my own sadness inside on the outside I am the hard ruthless bastard that I was a century ago. I feel no one's emotions any longer because I do not care, they do not matter.

Another year gone, I have heard nothing of the Cullens' or of Bella in nearly sixteen months. It is better this way, no reason to dwell on the past. I can lie to myself on I want but the truth remains, my short time with Bella was the only true happiness I ever felt. No lies, no deception. It was pure, because Bella was so pure.

I am again in my room no trace of her scent remains but it is forever etched in my memory. So sweet, so tempting, so pure. A gentle knock at my door pulls me from my musings. I can not sense any emotions from who ever is on the other side of the door, nor can I discern a scent from whomever is stupid enough to be on the other side.

I slowly approach the door and open it. My breath is sucked from me and my walls collapse. I am instantly wrapped in the arms of the woman that holds my heart. She came back. Bella. As soon as our skin touches her emotions are coursing through me. Love, happiness, hope, sadness, fear.

She reaches for my face and pulls me to her. As her lips brush mine I am lost in her. It is only she and I in the world and no one else matters. I return her gentle kiss passionately. God how I have missed her. My memory did not do her justice, she is glorious.

She whispers across my mouth, "Jasper." My name coming from her breaks me. I collapse to the ground pulling her with me. Afraid to let go and terrified to hold on. She peppers my face with kisses and whispers her love into my ear. I pull back to see her eyes. It is still there, the light, the love and the undying hope. She is my hope, without her I have none.

"Bella, I love you. I am so sorry." My voice no longer sounds like my own. She is everything to me. I will never left her go again. I hug her tight to me and kiss her with everything I have, pouring all of my love into her. She sends her love back to me, just as strong. How did I survive without her for three years?

Our kisses become urgent as I pull her up with me to the bed. Our lips never part as we lay together on the bed. My hands re-memorizing every curve of your luscious body. Her hands doing the same to me. Our clothes are soon lying on the floor next to us. Her body pressed against mine. Her lips leave mine only to kiss every inch of my scarred chest. Her love and desire pour into me, completing me.

I pull her back to me, kissing her passionately. I gently roll her onto her back and shift so I am now hovering over her. There are no words spoken between us, only our emotions flowing freely. I push into her core slowly, wanting to fully experience every ridge of her body. As I fully sheath myself into her I stop and look into her depthless eyes.

My voice breaks as I whisper my love to her, over and over as I slowly move within her. Our lips reconnect and our bodies move in harmony. Slow and passionate, no hunger or need for release. This is all about joining ourselves together, forgetting the last three years and sharing our love. It is pure and I know this goddess beneath me is my world. I will spend all of my eternity proving my love for her and earning her forgiveness for leaving her.

Our releases come simultaneously but we do not stop. Our bodies are connected and will remain connected for hours to come. Gentle kisses shared and declarations of our love are made to each other. Pure bliss. Our love is unbreakable, time not distance could change that. She came back to me, she saved me from myself again. She is my strength, my light in the darkness, she is everything to me.

Bella completes me like no one else ever can. She did the one thing no one else ever could; she led me to finding hope.

**Ok so this is the end of my story. I hope you enjoyed it! **

**One final chapter after this one - the epilogue... Please review!  
**


End file.
